Below are some thoughts of mine about feeling too weak and inadequate for God to use you, based on a sermon I preached on September 4th out of Judges 6 and 7. I truly hope you will be blessed and encouraged.

The last few weeks have really tested my faith in God and his leading in my life. I don't think I have ever felt so inadequate or under prepared for God's mission than I have in my entire life. I have felt weak. I have felt out of place. I have felt maxed out, running on overload, and sprinting toward burn out just because I am trying to pursue God's calling in my life, but feel like I don't have what it takes to really succeed. And in my conversations with people lately, I have discovered that I am not the only one who feels this way.

This idea of being inadequate has been quite overwhelming to me until I rediscovered the account of Gideon in Judges 6 and 7. This narrative describes the situation of Gideon's almost laughable weakness and the impossible mission God had called him to.

I love this because God asked the most obscure and under-qualified person in all of Isreal (literally) to free his entire nation from serious oppression by a neighboring country. As the scene unfolds in this passage, the reader slowly becomes aware of the depths of Gideon’s inadequacy for the task, even to the point of God removing the little adequacy he does possess - the small army of Israel. The tension slowly begins to build as the storyline rolls out.

When we get to the climax of the tension in Jdg. 7:7-8, God adds one final level of impossibility to the mission: "Win this battle with only 300 soldiers...and they will be the worst soldiers in your army." Here, we are given a view of Gideon at his most inadequate point.

But at the height of Gideon’s inadequacy and weakness, God shows his awesome power and takes over the scene. When Gideon goes to fight against the enemy, God completely spooks them and they start fighting themselves until there is literally no battle left to fight. God won the day as Gideon looked on. I love this because, throughout this whole ordeal, 0% of the solution to Gideon’s crisis came from Gideon. Gideon wasn’t the savior; God was! But Gideon's victory was on the other side of faith (cf. Heb. 11:32-33).

One of the most amazing things that I have learned from this passage is that God wins with the weak. He wins with those who are inadequate and unequipped. For Gideon, God's victory was much closer than he realized because it was right in the middle of his weakness. And the same is true for you. His victory in your life and in your situation isn’t missing. God never passed you up. But maybe there is something that, by faith, your hands need to let go of. His victory is on the other side of your faith. And his victory will be accomplished through your weakness...not in spite of your weakness.

Maybe in your life right now, this very week or month, you have been given way more than you can handle. And you feel like you’re crumbling under the weight of it all. You feel inadequate. You think that no one cares what you say, or that you're not strong enough to handle all of this, or you don't have the right training to handle it all.

I am here to tell you today that victory and hope are here! God wants to open your eyes to the spiritual reality all around you. Your victory is much closer than you think! God saw Gideon and called him a mighty man of valor before the victory was ever manifest or visible. God looked at Gideon and saw his victory, not his fear.

And he looks at you and sees your victory. He sees your sufficiency. He sees your power. He sees your beauty. He calls you victorious and mighty! And he will win in your life! In Christ, you are more than a conqueror. But you need to embrace your weakness and inadequacy because it is only in your inadequacy that you will experience God’s victory and freedom. 

The victory comes only when you let go of your own adequacy. The confidence comes only when you let go of your worry and anxiety (cf. 2 Cor. 3:5) because comes God wins with the weak.

So Pokemon GO happened...

Wow! I have never seen such an outburst of communal gaming in my life. I am honestly shocked at the amazing popularity of Niantic's new Pokemon GO app. In fact, according to Forbes Tech, as of the timing of this post, "Pokemon GO was installed on 5.6% of all Android devices in the United States... Not only that, but on average users are spending twice the amount of time engaged with Pokemon GO than they are on apps like Snapchat." Talk about viral!

But to be honest, I have always felt like I was on the outside of the Pokemon crowd looking in. My wife recently started playing, and now goes on Pokemon GO walks with her students (deserving the youth leader of the year award). Even when I was younger, I played with my baseball cards while a lot of my school friends played with their Pokemon cards.

But something struck me today as I watched my wife leave for one of her Pokemon GO walks; I think there is a progression in the Pokemon experience that the Church can learn from. It all began on some cards. And people would sit around playing with the cards, simulating in their minds what it would look like if they were in a real Pokemon battle. And then, Pokemon came out with movies and shows about the original card game. But it wasn't until Pokemon GO that people actually got out into the world and got in the game, so to speak. Pokemon GO has inspired a huge following because players are now players in a real-time experience, where every move they make matters.

Like I said, I think the Church, the collection of the people who follow Jesus, can learn from this progression. Too often, we sit in our nice buildings and talk about what it would look like if we could actually experience what others have written about. And we have even progressed to making movies and skits and shows about others who have experienced what the Bible talks about. But for the vast majority of us, we have yet to get off our seats and get in the game.

Yet, this isn't because it's not possible yet. In fact, this kind of life is ready and available for all of us...and the servers never crash. Jesus said in Matthew 28:19, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." Every single one of us can experience the most thrilling version of God's activity possible, one where God works through us. We don't have to simply settle for reading about God moving in and through someone else, we can experience it for ourselves.

However, even though making disciples happens while we are going, it doesn't happen on accident. Making disciples in an intentional process. It doesn't happen unless we plan on making disciples; we have to make a decision ahead of time to make disciples and grow disciples. Otherwise, it never happens...kind of like catching Pokemons in Pokemon GO.

So let's make a decision together today. Let's Pokemon GO... and make disciples!

I'm not a huge movie guy, but I am pretty excited for the upcoming release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (TMNT Trailer #1). Being a 90's kid, the Turtles bring me back to some of my favorite childhood things like TMNT pajamas and the coolest action figures in school. So, I obviously loved the first TMNT movie from Paramount Films, and I'm pretty stoked for the second one.

So, for reminiscence sake, these are some of my favorite TMNT toys ever made:

• The Technodrome
• The Turtlecopter
• And the best of all...The Pizza Thrower!

I have always been fascinated by turtles...especially turtles that eat pizza, ride skateboards, and say "Kawabunga, dude!", and were born out of the 90's. But the very idea of an animal that comes fully
equipped with a personal bomb shelter on its back is so sweet! When a turtle is threatened, or feels in danger, it is able retreat within its shell and find safety and a relative level of camouflage. This is amazing! Seriously, the way God has created turtles is so fascinating! Their ability to protect themselves is fascinating.

But too, often people act like turtles when it comes to their own emotional protection. In fact, I do this fairly often, as well. And this is not good. When turtles do it, it is good. When humans do this, it's not.

What do I mean? How do humans act like turtles?

I'll give you an example, but be nice to me. I'm going to be a little vulnerable with you here.

The other day, I was talking to a friend and he asked about how he could pray for me. And if I was being completely transparent, I would have told him about the multitude of burdens that were on my heart at that very moment. But if I had done that, I would have opened up the possibility of a few things:

• By sharing the actual burdens on my heart with him, he would have seen the mess I was in and would have plenty of chance to judge me and crushed my confidence.
• By sharing real prayer requests with him, I would have been reaching for the hope that my heart would be healed in a context that both of us shared...a hope that was easier crushed than realized.
• And by inviting him into the truth of my situation, I would have had to find a way to insert him into my life in the contexts of my burdens.

And if I am being honest, all of those things scared me. They scared me because it meant I would be opening up my heart to hope in a person I barely know to be there for me. And by doing this, I would take a huge step toward my hope being dashed and my joy being diminished.

So instead, I just told him some kind off vague prayer request like, "Pray for strength."

I acted just like a turtle. Because of my fear, I retreated within myself and avoided the freeing truth and sanctifying vulnerability. I hid behind the shell of vague "Christianese". And many of do this so much more than we realize. We all have pains and burdens. But we hide within ourselves, never finding freedom, because we are too scared.

And as the Lord has been speaking to me about this recently, he has been revealing to me the path to finding real freedom from these burdens and the pains in my heart. And I want to share them with you.

Here are 2 secrets to find lasting freedom from your pain and your burdens.

1) Come out of your shell. Be ok with the mess in your own heart. You're not alone in your mess! It's only when you are honest and at peace with your own mess than you can let someone else in and give you the real love that you need.

Allow me to let you in on the best-kept-secret of finding freedom: we can't find freedom by ourselves; we need another to help us as we search for freedom. In our pursuit of true freedom, real love from another person is a necessary ingredient. In order to enter the promised land called freedom, we must pass through the tunnel of real love. But this is where we tend to retreat into our shells. We are scared of receiving real love.

Why are we scared of receiving real love? Doesn't everyone want real love?

Receiving real, liberating love, requires that we come out of our shells, honestly admit our pain, and open up about our fears to another imperfect human being. It is only when we are vulnerable with another about our current reality that we can receive true love and find lasting freedom.

So why are we so scared to receive love and pursue freedom? Because we know the depths of our own hearts, and we are so scared to let someone else into it. We fear that they will see it and run the other way.

So we never find real freedom. Fear opposes love. And thus, it opposes freedom. We want freedom from our pains and burdens, but our fears tend to get in the way. This is why 1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear..."

Love requires you to open up. Like a turtle coming out of a shell.

And love will bring you to a place called freedom...outside of the shell.

2) Jump into someone else's shell. Be courageous enough to love someone sacrificially...despite the mess in their heart, and despite the amount of times they retreat inside their shell away from you. Real love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18).

Anything else called "love" that is too scared to enter the dark realities of the human heart for another is not love at all. Love bears all things with and for another (1 Corinthians 13:7). Mushy feelings never do that. That's because love isn't a feeling. Love is a self-sacrificing, daily-deciding commitment to the holistic well-being of another without regard for personal safety.

You can only offer this kind of love to someone else by committing to sacrifice and unselfishness. And by giving this real love to someone else, you will bring them to a place called freedom...outside of their shell.

(P.S. Love is a two way street. When you are courageous enough to love someone else, you will begin to find love and healing for your own heart.)

So here's to you! Here's to starting the journey to finding lasting freedom from your pains and burdens! "Kawabunga, dude!"

(Just for fun, here is another trailer...becasue I couldn't resist...)

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There is a lot being said as of late about the transgender issue.

What if a guy wants to identify as a woman? What if a woman wants to identify as a man? What if a woman wants to identify as a cat? What if a female-identifying man wants to use a female restroom at a certain supermarket? What if a person wants to identify as a 7 year old version of himself?

And frankly, this is a conversation that makes me very anxious. I have loads of anxiety in me because I don't know how to respond. I am a pastor and there are lots of people who, if not yet, will soon look to me to provide a godly answer about how to respond to a transgender person as Jesus would. This scares me because there are so many bad ways to respond, but not a lot of good ways. On the one hand, I would never want to disagree with God's commands in what I say or do; on the other hand,  I would never want to tell someone who does not yet know Jesus that he doesn't love them or that he didn't die for their sins too.

In this conversation, there are lots of Christians who error on either side of this discussion. There are some Christians who will say that if a person chooses to deny the way that God created them and become transgender that they are no longer worthy of love or kindness. But there are other Christians who will not say anything at all and choose to defend man's desires over God's genius in creation. And this is not godly either.

So how do I respond when my response could very easily misrepresent Jesus?

I don't know. But I do know a few things:

First, those who identify as transgender are doing so because they they need love. They believe that they will receive more love (if even from themselves) by doing so. They are human beings who are created in the image of God. They are human beings who are created with a need to be loved, but have been hurt at some point in their life.

Second, Jesus died for them. They are human, and as such, are sinners. And because of that they are human beings for whom Jesus died. And God doesn't wait for someone to clean up their life before loving them. For example,

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

"And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, 'This man (Jesus) receives sinners, and eats with them...'"

Luke 15:2

Jesus identified with sinners because he was more concerned with seeking them and saving them (cf. Luke 19:10) than condemning them (cf. John 3:17). He identified with me, a sinner, because he wanted to start a relationship with me that lasts forever. And I am eternally grateful.

I don't really know how to respond to the transgender frenzy and the anger that is being stirred up on either side. I wouldn't know what to say to the little girl who identifies as a boy. I wouldn't know what to say to Bruce who identifies as Caitlin. And I definitely wouldn't know what to say to the woman who identifies as a cat.

But I do know this: I identify as a sinner...just like everyone else that has ever lived.

And Jesus receives sinners.

Allow me to confess something. I have a history of depression. It comes in waves and at different times. But usually it's unexpected. And when it grabs a hold of me, it can cause me to question my calling; it can make me doubt my understanding of reality; it can influence me to give up on all God has in store for me.

This last month has been like that for me. I was so busy with so much that I didn't even realize that I had become depressed again. When I began to slow down and was able to process stuff again, I realized that I had started to question my calling and dread waking up to take on the day.

And then the Lord brought me to Ephesians 6. And through it, he spoke life back into my sleeping heart. Ephesians 6:10-13 says,

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore..."

And as I read this, the Spirit of God began to hover over the chaos in my heart (cf. Gen. 1:2). It was almost as if the Spirit was telling me that I had been looking at this life all wrong. It wasn't about me fighting for God or working hard to produce something God could use. God was already doing the work. He just needed me to stand firm.

And he just needs you to stand firm. The secret to being strong in the Lord and with the strength of his might is simply standing firm. Don't back down. It's not your strength that he needs. It's not your skill that he is looking for. It's not your cunning wisdom that he is relying on. What he needs is for you to stand firm against the devil, and not to run away.

When you're discouraged, stand firm.
When you're beginning to doubt, stand firm.
When you're getting impatient, stand firm.
When you're feeling hopeless, stand firm.

This is not a battle against things we can see. There are greater forces at play and you are a crucial part to God's plan. He is looking for you to simply be present in the battle. This is God's battle. And we are using his weapons. And we are fighting on his turf. He needs us in the fight, and he needs us to simply stand firm. He will win the fight through our stand.