Below are some thoughts of mine about feeling too weak and inadequate for God to use you, based on a sermon I preached on September 4th out of Judges 6 and 7. I truly hope you will be blessed and encouraged.

The last few weeks have really tested my faith in God and his leading in my life. I don't think I have ever felt so inadequate or under prepared for God's mission than I have in my entire life. I have felt weak. I have felt out of place. I have felt maxed out, running on overload, and sprinting toward burn out just because I am trying to pursue God's calling in my life, but feel like I don't have what it takes to really succeed. And in my conversations with people lately, I have discovered that I am not the only one who feels this way.

This idea of being inadequate has been quite overwhelming to me until I rediscovered the account of Gideon in Judges 6 and 7. This narrative describes the situation of Gideon's almost laughable weakness and the impossible mission God had called him to.

I love this because God asked the most obscure and under-qualified person in all of Isreal (literally) to free his entire nation from serious oppression by a neighboring country. As the scene unfolds in this passage, the reader slowly becomes aware of the depths of Gideon’s inadequacy for the task, even to the point of God removing the little adequacy he does possess - the small army of Israel. The tension slowly begins to build as the storyline rolls out.

When we get to the climax of the tension in Jdg. 7:7-8, God adds one final level of impossibility to the mission: "Win this battle with only 300 soldiers...and they will be the worst soldiers in your army." Here, we are given a view of Gideon at his most inadequate point.

But at the height of Gideon’s inadequacy and weakness, God shows his awesome power and takes over the scene. When Gideon goes to fight against the enemy, God completely spooks them and they start fighting themselves until there is literally no battle left to fight. God won the day as Gideon looked on. I love this because, throughout this whole ordeal, 0% of the solution to Gideon’s crisis came from Gideon. Gideon wasn’t the savior; God was! But Gideon's victory was on the other side of faith (cf. Heb. 11:32-33).

One of the most amazing things that I have learned from this passage is that God wins with the weak. He wins with those who are inadequate and unequipped. For Gideon, God's victory was much closer than he realized because it was right in the middle of his weakness. And the same is true for you. His victory in your life and in your situation isn’t missing. God never passed you up. But maybe there is something that, by faith, your hands need to let go of. His victory is on the other side of your faith. And his victory will be accomplished through your weakness...not in spite of your weakness.

Maybe in your life right now, this very week or month, you have been given way more than you can handle. And you feel like you’re crumbling under the weight of it all. You feel inadequate. You think that no one cares what you say, or that you're not strong enough to handle all of this, or you don't have the right training to handle it all.

I am here to tell you today that victory and hope are here! God wants to open your eyes to the spiritual reality all around you. Your victory is much closer than you think! God saw Gideon and called him a mighty man of valor before the victory was ever manifest or visible. God looked at Gideon and saw his victory, not his fear.

And he looks at you and sees your victory. He sees your sufficiency. He sees your power. He sees your beauty. He calls you victorious and mighty! And he will win in your life! In Christ, you are more than a conqueror. But you need to embrace your weakness and inadequacy because it is only in your inadequacy that you will experience God’s victory and freedom. 

The victory comes only when you let go of your own adequacy. The confidence comes only when you let go of your worry and anxiety (cf. 2 Cor. 3:5) because comes God wins with the weak.

I was recently given a waterproof Bible for my birthday. I love it! It has pages that are made of a flimsy plastic, making it able to shed water instead of absorb it. Its cover is made out of a waterproof synthetic leather. It is so fun to take it to places that had previously been "no book zones" just because they are wet places.

For example, I love showering with my new waterproof Bible. I usually do my best thinking in the shower (don't you?), and so spending time in the Word of God in the shower has been very eye opening. With my mind so clear and with my thinking so sharp in the sanctuary of my shower, God has been revealing some pretty awesome things to me lately.

The other day, I was reading my waterproof Bible in the shower, and I was spending time in Hebrews 11 (I'm sure those faith heroes would have loved to read a Bible in a shower...hehe). While there, a passage in particular hit me. Hebrews 11:13 says about the people in the Old Testament who had great faith,

"These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth."

Translation: the lifespan of their faith was lot longer then the span of their lives. Their faith lived longer than they did. Not even death could shake their faith in the coming Messiah.

So God began to ask me about my faith. How long is the lifespan of my faith? Will my faith outlive me? There isn't necessarily a way to answer this question other than proving it. There isn't really a good way to know other than living everyday with a faith that is stronger than my fears, quenches my doubts, emboldens my life, and encourages others until I take my last breath. I want to live my life with a faith that will outlast me.

So what about you? What is the lifespan of your faith? Is God more secure to you than your stuff? Could you leave everything you have in order to follow God's call on your life?

One of my favorite movies to watch when I was in junior high was The Rookie (2002). It is the story of Jimmy Morris, a high school baseball coach who makes it to the major leagues and becomes the oldest MLB rookie ever. In the movie, there is a scene where Jimmy was doubting whether or not to actually try
out for the major leagues and pursue his life-long dream, or to stay in his hometown teaching high school science and coaching varsity baseball. To gain clarity, he asks the advice of his father. The response he got was a phrase I will never forget. He said, "Son, it is alright to be doing what you want to do until it is time to start doing what you were meant to do."

It is alright to be doing what I want to do until it is time to start doing what I was meant to do. This phrase has stuck with me ever since. Recently, however, it has been reverberating in my mind like a gong. I don't like to make major plans for my future often. But I had set a course in my life in one direction and God had a different plan. I was running a new cafe that had just opened and I was loving it when God decided that it was time for me to start doing what I was meant to do. He had plans for me to be in full-time ministry in the context of the local church. And though I had my sights set on full-time church ministry for a long time and I have trained extensively for this, it took a little bit of convincing for me to get on board with God's plan. I had my own plans! I wanted to keep doing something that I was good at! I wanted the security of the known! But God wanted to bless me and use me in amazing ways. So I caved in and let God have his way - which would have happened anyway, whether I wanted it or not. (He has this thing with getting his way in our lives.)

A lot of times, I think most people are like me. We like to keep doing things that we are comfortable with and that we know we are good at. And sometimes we pass up opportunities for greater things because we are scared of the unknown and the difficult. We don't like God to change our plans because we don't know how it will turn out. But Hebrews 11:6 reminds us that we are most pleasing to God, and thus the safest, when we are living by faith and seeking after him. In other words, God is really happy with you when you follow his lead even though you don't know what's going on!

So I wonder, whose plans are you living by right now?

Are you allowing God to change your plans? And can you get excited for God to mess up "your life"?

What must you let go of in order for God to be on your hearts throne?