Allow me to confess something. I have a history of depression. It comes in waves and at different times. But usually it's unexpected. And when it grabs a hold of me, it can cause me to question my calling; it can make me doubt my understanding of reality; it can influence me to give up on all God has in store for me.

This last month has been like that for me. I was so busy with so much that I didn't even realize that I had become depressed again. When I began to slow down and was able to process stuff again, I realized that I had started to question my calling and dread waking up to take on the day.

And then the Lord brought me to Ephesians 6. And through it, he spoke life back into my sleeping heart. Ephesians 6:10-13 says,

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore..."

And as I read this, the Spirit of God began to hover over the chaos in my heart (cf. Gen. 1:2). It was almost as if the Spirit was telling me that I had been looking at this life all wrong. It wasn't about me fighting for God or working hard to produce something God could use. God was already doing the work. He just needed me to stand firm.

And he just needs you to stand firm. The secret to being strong in the Lord and with the strength of his might is simply standing firm. Don't back down. It's not your strength that he needs. It's not your skill that he is looking for. It's not your cunning wisdom that he is relying on. What he needs is for you to stand firm against the devil, and not to run away.

When you're discouraged, stand firm.
When you're beginning to doubt, stand firm.
When you're getting impatient, stand firm.
When you're feeling hopeless, stand firm.

This is not a battle against things we can see. There are greater forces at play and you are a crucial part to God's plan. He is looking for you to simply be present in the battle. This is God's battle. And we are using his weapons. And we are fighting on his turf. He needs us in the fight, and he needs us to simply stand firm. He will win the fight through our stand.

This week, the Lord really impressed upon my heart the need to ask big things of Him in my life.

I have been journeying through the book of 1 Samuel and I was spending time in the account of the battle between David and Goliath. And I think that the main thing that we always notice in this narrative is the truth that you can overcome any giant in your life when you fear God more than the giant in front of you.

However, something I didn't notice until the Lord showed me this week was that David could have been in my youth group. He was the same age as my high school students. He was the young guy on the outskirts of the circle. He was the kid that his youth leader didn't notice too much. He was the dude who was trying (however unsuccessfully) to get his crush's attention. He was the student that nobody ever noticed.

And yet, what happened? God chose little David to change the course of his nation's history and to bless the world for eternity through his Messianic seed. Could anybody have seen this when he was fifteen? Absolutely not! But as God revealed to Samuel at the anointing ceremony,

"Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." ~ 1 Sam. 16:7

So what is the difference between what people see in a person or situation and what God sees? The difference is the unpredictable power of the Holy Spirit.

And what is the difference between what I see in a student or a situation with at work and what God sees? The difference is the unpredictable power of the Holy Spirit. He can do "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think" (Eph. 3:20) with every single impossible situation or person. Anything I could possibly dream of God doing pales in comparison to what he can actually accomplish. My biggest dreams are small potatoes compared to His divine ability.

What's left for me to do is to "ask big." James 4:2 says, "You have not because you ask not..." So this week, I was convicted to ask huge things of God - things that I don't see ever happening - because I know that that is the place where He loves to show Himself off. I need to ask big, hairy, audacious things of God.

God operates in the realm of big, hairy, audacious prayers (BHAPs). That is His happy place. Things that occur naturally, and thus don't require a miracle, don't fall into that category. Faith is asking God for the impossible, and then acting as if the answer is on the way. That is what it means to pray BHAPs to God. And when the answer comes, it will be obvious that God was the only one who accomplished it.

So I prayed some impossible prayers this week. I prayed that thousands of souls would be saved as a result of our youth ministry. I also prayed that God would do something so big in and though our students that it would still be affecting people hundred of years from now.

Only God could be responsible for such an amazing outcome. So I continue to pray that way, and I continue to pray BHAPs because I have to believe that God is still in the business of doing huge things on planet earth today.

So what about you? What's the most impossible thing you could pray for this week?