Below are some thoughts of mine about feeling too weak and inadequate for God to use you, based on a sermon I preached on September 4th out of Judges 6 and 7. I truly hope you will be blessed and encouraged.

The last few weeks have really tested my faith in God and his leading in my life. I don't think I have ever felt so inadequate or under prepared for God's mission than I have in my entire life. I have felt weak. I have felt out of place. I have felt maxed out, running on overload, and sprinting toward burn out just because I am trying to pursue God's calling in my life, but feel like I don't have what it takes to really succeed. And in my conversations with people lately, I have discovered that I am not the only one who feels this way.

This idea of being inadequate has been quite overwhelming to me until I rediscovered the account of Gideon in Judges 6 and 7. This narrative describes the situation of Gideon's almost laughable weakness and the impossible mission God had called him to.

I love this because God asked the most obscure and under-qualified person in all of Isreal (literally) to free his entire nation from serious oppression by a neighboring country. As the scene unfolds in this passage, the reader slowly becomes aware of the depths of Gideon’s inadequacy for the task, even to the point of God removing the little adequacy he does possess - the small army of Israel. The tension slowly begins to build as the storyline rolls out.

When we get to the climax of the tension in Jdg. 7:7-8, God adds one final level of impossibility to the mission: "Win this battle with only 300 soldiers...and they will be the worst soldiers in your army." Here, we are given a view of Gideon at his most inadequate point.

But at the height of Gideon’s inadequacy and weakness, God shows his awesome power and takes over the scene. When Gideon goes to fight against the enemy, God completely spooks them and they start fighting themselves until there is literally no battle left to fight. God won the day as Gideon looked on. I love this because, throughout this whole ordeal, 0% of the solution to Gideon’s crisis came from Gideon. Gideon wasn’t the savior; God was! But Gideon's victory was on the other side of faith (cf. Heb. 11:32-33).

One of the most amazing things that I have learned from this passage is that God wins with the weak. He wins with those who are inadequate and unequipped. For Gideon, God's victory was much closer than he realized because it was right in the middle of his weakness. And the same is true for you. His victory in your life and in your situation isn’t missing. God never passed you up. But maybe there is something that, by faith, your hands need to let go of. His victory is on the other side of your faith. And his victory will be accomplished through your weakness...not in spite of your weakness.

Maybe in your life right now, this very week or month, you have been given way more than you can handle. And you feel like you’re crumbling under the weight of it all. You feel inadequate. You think that no one cares what you say, or that you're not strong enough to handle all of this, or you don't have the right training to handle it all.

I am here to tell you today that victory and hope are here! God wants to open your eyes to the spiritual reality all around you. Your victory is much closer than you think! God saw Gideon and called him a mighty man of valor before the victory was ever manifest or visible. God looked at Gideon and saw his victory, not his fear.

And he looks at you and sees your victory. He sees your sufficiency. He sees your power. He sees your beauty. He calls you victorious and mighty! And he will win in your life! In Christ, you are more than a conqueror. But you need to embrace your weakness and inadequacy because it is only in your inadequacy that you will experience God’s victory and freedom. 

The victory comes only when you let go of your own adequacy. The confidence comes only when you let go of your worry and anxiety (cf. 2 Cor. 3:5) because comes God wins with the weak.

Are you a real leader or just a rockstar who can attract a crowd?

I have been challenged to rethink what I used to know about leadership. There have been a few people recently, who have caused me to wonder if the amount of followers leaders have is even that important. See, I had always (secretly) hoped that someday I would be a leader who had thousands of people flocking around me to hear what I had to say. That was what my dream of greatness looked like - me, on a stage with a sweet light show and wearing a trendy outfit while spewing my buckets of wisdom... Sounds real biblical, huh?

But then I met some people who had all of that. They seemed like the perfect leaders, but somehow they weren't leading anyone. In fact, they refused the leadership opportunities that were placed right in front of them because it involved service more than spotlights. For them, the idea of leadership was less about actually leading people to something greater, and more about attracting people to themselves. 

When I saw this in other people (because it was easier to see it in other than see it in myself), I learned something very important: Leaders lead, and great leaders lead to great places. Notice what I didn't say: Leaders attract, and great leaders attract more. A rockstar does that, not necessarily a leader. Leaders go somewhere and people follow them to that place. And the place that leaders take people is far more important than how many people they are taking there. When it comes to leadership, it doesn't matter how many people are following you as much as where you are going.

Jesus has called his people to lead others to him. This is the greatest form of leadership: making everything in your life about leading others to Jesus. And this form of leadership is starkly contrasted with what lots of people (and I used to be one of them) think of as leadership: being a rockstar and attracting loads of people to themselves. This may be the American Dream, but this is not Jesus' dream for his people. Jesus has called you to lead others to him. And if you are leading people, Jesus makes it clear that this road is paved with service and sacrifice, not power moves and popularity.

Jesus said,

"The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." Matthew 23:11-12

And then he modeled this kind of leadership. On the one night that he could have afforded to take a little bit of pleasure in for himself - the night that he was going to sacrifice his very self in the greatest act of leadership EVER - he chose to serve rather than be served. Check out John 13:3-14 for this account. For Jesus, it was less about how many people saw him do that, and less about power moves and popularity, and more about leading his followers to something greater.

So my question to you is: are you leading or just attracting?

Don't waste the gift that God has given you today. Lead others. Lead them to him.

I was recently given a waterproof Bible for my birthday. I love it! It has pages that are made of a flimsy plastic, making it able to shed water instead of absorb it. Its cover is made out of a waterproof synthetic leather. It is so fun to take it to places that had previously been "no book zones" just because they are wet places.

For example, I love showering with my new waterproof Bible. I usually do my best thinking in the shower (don't you?), and so spending time in the Word of God in the shower has been very eye opening. With my mind so clear and with my thinking so sharp in the sanctuary of my shower, God has been revealing some pretty awesome things to me lately.

The other day, I was reading my waterproof Bible in the shower, and I was spending time in Hebrews 11 (I'm sure those faith heroes would have loved to read a Bible in a shower...hehe). While there, a passage in particular hit me. Hebrews 11:13 says about the people in the Old Testament who had great faith,

"These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth."

Translation: the lifespan of their faith was lot longer then the span of their lives. Their faith lived longer than they did. Not even death could shake their faith in the coming Messiah.

So God began to ask me about my faith. How long is the lifespan of my faith? Will my faith outlive me? There isn't necessarily a way to answer this question other than proving it. There isn't really a good way to know other than living everyday with a faith that is stronger than my fears, quenches my doubts, emboldens my life, and encourages others until I take my last breath. I want to live my life with a faith that will outlast me.

So what about you? What is the lifespan of your faith? Is God more secure to you than your stuff? Could you leave everything you have in order to follow God's call on your life?

This week, the Lord really impressed upon my heart the need to ask big things of Him in my life.

I have been journeying through the book of 1 Samuel and I was spending time in the account of the battle between David and Goliath. And I think that the main thing that we always notice in this narrative is the truth that you can overcome any giant in your life when you fear God more than the giant in front of you.

However, something I didn't notice until the Lord showed me this week was that David could have been in my youth group. He was the same age as my high school students. He was the young guy on the outskirts of the circle. He was the kid that his youth leader didn't notice too much. He was the dude who was trying (however unsuccessfully) to get his crush's attention. He was the student that nobody ever noticed.

And yet, what happened? God chose little David to change the course of his nation's history and to bless the world for eternity through his Messianic seed. Could anybody have seen this when he was fifteen? Absolutely not! But as God revealed to Samuel at the anointing ceremony,

"Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." ~ 1 Sam. 16:7

So what is the difference between what people see in a person or situation and what God sees? The difference is the unpredictable power of the Holy Spirit.

And what is the difference between what I see in a student or a situation with at work and what God sees? The difference is the unpredictable power of the Holy Spirit. He can do "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think" (Eph. 3:20) with every single impossible situation or person. Anything I could possibly dream of God doing pales in comparison to what he can actually accomplish. My biggest dreams are small potatoes compared to His divine ability.

What's left for me to do is to "ask big." James 4:2 says, "You have not because you ask not..." So this week, I was convicted to ask huge things of God - things that I don't see ever happening - because I know that that is the place where He loves to show Himself off. I need to ask big, hairy, audacious things of God.

God operates in the realm of big, hairy, audacious prayers (BHAPs). That is His happy place. Things that occur naturally, and thus don't require a miracle, don't fall into that category. Faith is asking God for the impossible, and then acting as if the answer is on the way. That is what it means to pray BHAPs to God. And when the answer comes, it will be obvious that God was the only one who accomplished it.

So I prayed some impossible prayers this week. I prayed that thousands of souls would be saved as a result of our youth ministry. I also prayed that God would do something so big in and though our students that it would still be affecting people hundred of years from now.

Only God could be responsible for such an amazing outcome. So I continue to pray that way, and I continue to pray BHAPs because I have to believe that God is still in the business of doing huge things on planet earth today.

So what about you? What's the most impossible thing you could pray for this week?

Recently, in our youth ministry, we went through a short series about knowing who we are and how God sees us called Identity Crisis. And even though it seems like such an obvious thing - knowing who we are - we often lose sight of our true identities in the plethora of images of everything our culture expects of us. We are called to love God and change the world, but everything in our culture says we should make our lives comfortable - all about ourselves. And the moment we begin pursuing what culture gives us instead of pursuing what God has called us to, we have settled for something far less than greatness.

But the enemy wants anything for us than to attain to what God has for us. He wants mediocrity for us. Because of this, he has waged war on us. And his target is our identity in Christ. If we can be knocked away from a healthy self-identity, then he can tempt us to do just about anything that will steal glory away from our God with relative ease. And the crazy thing is that we need to know who we are in Christ to fight against this. In order to remain close to God, we need to be confident in Him.

See, we will always fight FROM our identity. The way we perceive ourselves in this world will greatly affect how we pursue changing this world. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but we are always in a fight. The question is just what we are fighting for. Are we fighting for things that matter or things that don’t? We will always avoid the fights that matter until we are confident of the One who fights for us. And the way that we perceive God is really important because it changes how we see ourselves.

Big God --> Strong, Confident Me.

Puny God --> Weak, Scared Me.

We see this truth illustrated very beautifully in 1 Samuel 17. When David walked onto the battlefield to fight with Goliath, do you think he was worrying about how weak he was? No. He was confident in how strong his God is. And that made him realize that he was invincible! Did you catch that? The way that he perceived his God was the difference between slavery to Goliath and victory for Israel.

The way that we perceive our God, and how He lives and works in us is the difference between agitated losing and abundant living. Agitated losing. Abundant living. This is what hangs in the balance.

So we must know how God sees us. For those of us who follow Jesus, this is how God sees us:

John 1:12 - We are children of God!
Ephesians 1:5 - We are adopted children who bring him pleasure!
Romans 15:7 - We are accepted by Jesus!
Colossians 2:9-10 - We have the fulness of Christ!
1 Corinthians 6:17 - We are one with the Lord in Spirit!
Romans 6:6 - We are no longer slaves to sin!
Genesis 1:27 - We have been created in God’s image!
1 Corinthians 12:27 - We are a part of the body of Christ - the Church!
1 Peter 2:9 - We are a chosen people! We are a royal priesthood! We are a holy nation! We belong to God! We are no longer in darkness!
Galatians 3:27-28 - We are no longer identified in the way everyone else identifies us!
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - We are a temple of the Holy Spirit! We have been purchased at the highest price!
Colossians 3:1-3 - Our identities are hidden with Jesus so much so that God sees us the same way he sees Jesus...as a perfect child whom he adores!

The way we perceive ourselves in this world will greatly affect how we pursue changing this world. And in order to change our world, we need continually fight to protect our identity in Christ.

My prayer for you is that you know Jesus, you know who you are, and that FROM your identity, you will be able to change your world for God's glory!

One of my favorite movies to watch when I was in junior high was The Rookie (2002). It is the story of Jimmy Morris, a high school baseball coach who makes it to the major leagues and becomes the oldest MLB rookie ever. In the movie, there is a scene where Jimmy was doubting whether or not to actually try
out for the major leagues and pursue his life-long dream, or to stay in his hometown teaching high school science and coaching varsity baseball. To gain clarity, he asks the advice of his father. The response he got was a phrase I will never forget. He said, "Son, it is alright to be doing what you want to do until it is time to start doing what you were meant to do."

It is alright to be doing what I want to do until it is time to start doing what I was meant to do. This phrase has stuck with me ever since. Recently, however, it has been reverberating in my mind like a gong. I don't like to make major plans for my future often. But I had set a course in my life in one direction and God had a different plan. I was running a new cafe that had just opened and I was loving it when God decided that it was time for me to start doing what I was meant to do. He had plans for me to be in full-time ministry in the context of the local church. And though I had my sights set on full-time church ministry for a long time and I have trained extensively for this, it took a little bit of convincing for me to get on board with God's plan. I had my own plans! I wanted to keep doing something that I was good at! I wanted the security of the known! But God wanted to bless me and use me in amazing ways. So I caved in and let God have his way - which would have happened anyway, whether I wanted it or not. (He has this thing with getting his way in our lives.)

A lot of times, I think most people are like me. We like to keep doing things that we are comfortable with and that we know we are good at. And sometimes we pass up opportunities for greater things because we are scared of the unknown and the difficult. We don't like God to change our plans because we don't know how it will turn out. But Hebrews 11:6 reminds us that we are most pleasing to God, and thus the safest, when we are living by faith and seeking after him. In other words, God is really happy with you when you follow his lead even though you don't know what's going on!

So I wonder, whose plans are you living by right now?

Are you allowing God to change your plans? And can you get excited for God to mess up "your life"?

What must you let go of in order for God to be on your hearts throne?

Today, I watched on as my beloved Everton lost to arch rivals Liverpool 4-0 in the English Premier League (it's a soccer league, for the uninformed). It was truly a disappointing match for me to watch. Nothing seemed to go right when it came to how we played. Every time we thought we were getting close to scoring, Liverpool countered with a lightning fast attack the other way to score on our helpless defense. You can watch the highlights here.

However, I was unable to watch the game in the presence of anyone who enjoys soccer. It was enjoyable to watch the game. But it would have so much more enjoyable to watch it with others. This is the point I am getting at:

Everything good is better when you enjoy it in community with others who enjoy it.

Soccer is fun to follow, but as an American man in the Midwest, I don't have much of a community to enjoy it with, nonetheless to support Everton with me. It is so much more enjoyable to watch it with other people who care about it as much I do.

To be honest with you, I was pouting a little bit today about all of this...not being able to watch the Everton game with anyone who cares about football (the real football). I was feeling down and a wee bit depressed that I have to enjoy my passions - soccer and specialty coffee - with so few people. But then the Lord began to change my thought process.

I asked myself what the most important part of my life was. The answer was obvious - almost so obvious that I had forgotten about it - my faith. I mean seriously, if I had to pick the best part of my life in which to enjoy enjoy community with others, it would be my faith. There are many parts of my life, but if I had to choose between them all which to enjoy in a passionate community, it would most certainly have to be my pursuit of Jesus. I can leave soccer behind, I can leave coffee behind, I can leave everything behind. But if I had to navigate my own faith journey alone, I would go crazy because it is at the heart of everything I do.

I so badly need others around me to encourage me in the pursuit of Christ. Loving Jesus is a complete joy, about which I could write for hours. But when I am surrounded by others who are passionately loving Jesus, my joy is made even more complete. Therefore, I choose to intentionally involve myself in Christian community because I know that my pursuit of Christ is made so much better in the presence of others who are also pursuing him.

So this is my encouragement to you today:

Press into community...even if you're ashamed of who you are. Jesus isn't. He loves you. He love you so intensely and passionately that all of your faults are forgotten in the empty space of forgiveness and grace. And admit it...you need others in your life to help you love him back. You know you can't do this on your own. You are hard-wired for community. That's why you can understand my frustration with having to enjoy something on my own. It is part of who you are to engage in community.

You can choose to surround yourself with people who care a lot about the things in your life that get you going - music, the Seahawks, politics, mountain biking, girls, tacos, or TOMS - and there is nothing inherently wrong with them. But I encourage you to also intentionally surround yourself with the kind of people who make you want to love Jesus even more, and you'll never walk alone.

"And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not easily broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12 (ESV)

"Some people have gotten out of the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord's coming is getting closer." Hebrews 10:25  (CEV)

P.S. I want to give a shout out to my wife, my best friends Mark, David, and Ryan, and of course my awesome little brother Benjamin for being those people in my life who have inspired me to love Jesus even more passionately. I couldn't do it without you!

I wrote this as a outburst of my heart after singing the hymn Sovereign by Chris Tomlin this morning in church. I was overwhelmed with the sovereign tenderness of my Heavenly Father, and how much he takes joy in any little attempt I make to love him back.

In a tender moment

In the eye of my mind

I see a father weeping - 

With tears, soft and mild - 

In the fragile embrace

Of his loving child.

"Daddy, are you sad?

Did I do any wrong?"

"No, my child, I'm not.

There is no sadness here.

I cry because of love - 

There is joy in these tears."

The the moment is done.

I wake and then I see

That You were the Father,

And the child was me. 

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