This post is sort of unusual compared to then content I usually post. Typically I am posting reflections on my personal journey with the Lord and things that can others can relate to. This post, while still reflecting on my personal journey, however, reflects more on the cognitive side of this. rather than the affective. It is meant to display God's grace in not only my growth in his Kingdom, but also on my professional development.

I have been doing youth ministry for over 5 years now, but this last month marked my the end of my first year of full-time youth ministry. So these are the 5 Things I Learned in My First Year of Full-Time Youth Ministry:

1. You have to use words, but your life is what students listen to the most. I think one of the most depressing things that I had to get over was that my words were not very memorable. One of the coolest things ever is when a student grabs ahold of your message, and journals it, or tweets it, or videos it, or talks about it. But the reality is that this doesn't happen very often. Standing alone, my words don't really do much.  In fact, almost every student I have ever spoken to do not remember 95% of what I have ever said in talks. Talk about de-motivation! But here is the thing, even though not memorable, many of my talks made a big difference in lives thanks to two factors: 1) the power of God working behind my capabilities, and 2) the time that I spent with all of my students showing

them what it looked like to follow Jesus. Though the message in my talks may not have been retained very long, the message of my life was much harder to forget.

2. Parents are not the enemy. Maybe this is an age thing or just very common in youth ministry, but there always seems like there is a cold war going on between parents and the youth ministry. Though no shots are fires, it feels like there is a stand-off for the rights to time and attention of their students. And though we both want the same thing - that the student would grow up to love and serve Jesus with his/her life - there remains this awkward tension sometimes when we meet in hallways on in an email because we don't exactly know what the other is thinking about us. (Maybe I'm way off, but that's the way it appears from my end sometimes.) But one of the coolest things that I have learned in youth ministry is that when that communication gap was bridged, and I could develop relationships my your students' parents, I realized a shocking truth - that parents were actually cheering for me and that they were actually really cool people. They just wanted to make sure that their student was getting the best ministry possible. And when I actually took the time to listen to them, what I heard were stories of fear, joy, pain, success, and longing. Parents want the best for their students and so do I. A little professionalism, a lot of communication, and a little time went a long way to gain their trust and something even greater - a group of some of the greatest cheer leaders on the planet!

3. You cannot possibly over communicate. I don't know how many times it took for me to learn this one. In fact, there are still times where I have to re-learn this lesson. Communication that is well in advance, thorough, and accurate is the goal. Obviously, there are last minute changes that come up, but I have learned that the more people that I tell and the more information I give, the more successfully everyone will be informed. And once of the only complaints I receive with somewhat regularity is that so-and-so didn't know about my well-planned event and really wished they had so they could be there.

4. Lead your youth leaders well and you will in turn lead your students well. I figured this one out very early on. I can only connect with so many students in a spiritually significant way. But when I make an intentional effort to disciple my leaders and lay out clear expectations, I am multiplying our ministry into something greater than I was ever capable of on my own. So now I love to take leaders out for coffee, or invite them to our house, or text them during the week to see how I can pray
for them. And as I am pouring into them, I explain that this is what I expect them do be doing with their small group. Ministry modeled. Ministry multiplied.

5. You're not alone! Man, I tell you what... One of the biggest lies that youth pastors believe is that you have to be the superman of your ministry. You have to know exactly what God's vision is for your ministry, know everybody in the ministry, be super engaging, create an Hillsong Young & Free environment, lead thousands of kids to Jesus, and do all of this under budget. And on top of that, there is the pressure to communicate all of this to your volunteers and train them on how to achieve this. And after some time of believing the lies about how inadequate I was to achieve all of this on my own (despite how noble these aspirations were), I began to become extremely overwhelmed. But one of the most freeing things ever was when I realized that my youth leaders were with me in this. They actually wanted to make a difference too, and they were really good at youth ministry already. All I had to do was give direction and lead on. I didn't have to do everything. I have hands on leaders, other youth pastors, parents, articles and blogs, and my own fellow staff members all to lean on. They are so incredible. I just have to trust that in all of our joint efforts, Jesus is receiving just as much glory as those flashy ministries I follow on Instagram.

(6. BONUS! Google apps are WAY better for working, creating, and collaborating than Microsoft apps! This one speaks for itself.)

I'm writing this as I am driving down the long winding roads of Wisconsin. My rock star wife is in the drivers seat and we are on our way to my new job as high school pastor in Bismarck, ND. It's really exciting to be moving into this awesome new chapter of our lives, but I'm also caught reflecting on the times we had back in Illinois for the year or so that we were there.

Our last few days in the area were spent hanging out with lots of junior high and high school students. We received numerous cards and letters from all kinds of students telling us how we have impacted them. It was really hard not to cry after each one. It was amazing to see how Jesus had worked through us to leave a legacy in their lives. What a privilege!

So as I reflect on our legacy, here are the 3 Lessons I Learned After I Left a Legacy:

1. Most of the time, you never know how deep you have made it into someone's heart until separation causes them to share it with you. So do your best to be a positive example in everything you say and do. A few days before we left, we had a party to which we invited every student in the youth group. And some of the students that came we students I didn't remember every really getting to know that well. But as students began to share with us the impact we had left in their lives, I can only remember being so amazed at how God had worked. I honestly didn't remember ever saying anything important to some of them. But God allowed us to go deeper into their hearts than I ever imagined.
2. You can never quantify the legacy you have left. So never give up on someone who seems "hard to get to." One particular student comes to mind when I write this. He was that kid who always hung out in the back of the crowd during the songs chatting it up with his friends. He never seemed to be serious about the Lord. His dad even confided in me that he has had numerous conversations with him to try to get him serious about Jesus, school, or even work. But it seemed that he was a "dead end." Nothing seemed to get to him. But when I opened up my home to have a Bible study, he was one of the most faithful attenders. And out of nowhere - it seemed - this student began to get hungry for the Word. And a hunger like that is hard to put a number on. I only pray that Jesus continues to increase that hunger. Time will only tell, but he might be the next Hudson Taylor, and go anywhere God calls him.
3. You never know how your legacy is perceived. So make it as much like Jesus as you can. This story doesn't actually come from my time in youth ministry, but from my time working in the secular environment. I ran a coffee shop on the west side of Chicago for the last year an a half. One of the women who worked for me was Ana. She was a single mom from Guatemala, and she only worked for me for the last month or so that I was there. But on one of my last days there, she said to me, "I'm not a Christian, but my dad is a pastor and he works a secular job along side that. And though I'm not into that sort of thing, I admire him a lot. I know it's probably not the 'Christian' thing to say, but already I can sense this aura around you just like my dad. It makes me feel at ease." And as the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:15-17, this "aura" about us is Christ's presence in us, and is noticeable to both God and other people. And I am so grateful that God worked in me to make that "aura" obvious to Ana so that she could feel comfortable around knowing that I was a follower of Jesus.

What about you?

What kind of legacy are you leaving? And what are you doing today to make your "aura" more like Christ?

I wrote this letter to remind myself what my selfish nature can and will do to me if I cease to submit my whole being to Christ everyday. Though it is incredibly detailed and shocking and harsh, it might actually be truer than you are giving your own sin nature credit for. I encourage you to read this as if it were the monster inside of you that is writing to you:

Dear ______,

I am the monster inside of you;

I am here to prey upon your soul.

If you cease to fight me,

I will take you under and punish you to no end. 

I want to eat you alive...slowly.

I hate you with all that I am.

I want to ruin your whole life,

Inside and out. 

If you even give me the slightest pathway into your life,

This is what I will do:

I will destroy your marriage. 

Your wife will learn to resent you. 

She will put all her hopes and dreams in you only to get them smashed and dashed to the ground. 

She will be disappointed in you. 

She will give you up. 

She will even leave you. 

I can already picture her resting happily in the arms of another man...a man who can control himself. 

She will forget about you as quickly as she can. 

I want to destroy your ministry. 

I will let you speak in front of many just so they can find out later that you're a total fake. 

Every kid you speak to will live up to your lousy example. 

No guy will grow up as a pure man. All the girls will think they have to be "more beautiful" because they aren't enough - even to you. 

I will ruin their lives because of you!

But most of all, I want to keep you groveling in the sewage tanks of shame and despair. Every time you build a shred of confidence, I will dash you back to the ground lest you rise to enjoy intimacy with the Hated King. 

Your spiritual demise is my greatest prize. I will suck every last drop of spiritual life out of your veins. 

You will never get close to Him because one thing will always stand in the way: YOU!

I want desperately to destroy every single part of your very existence. 

I hate you so much!

Sincerely,

The Monster Inside of You

P.S. I'm already dreaming of incredibly gory things for your own children. I can't wait!