Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label waiting. Show all posts

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Exhibit: A - ME hidden behind the suffocating curtain of a never ending to-do list. MYSELF amidst so many faces who expect my all and every last ounce of my attention. I longing for relax, for peaceful, for a lighter load, for stronger, for not so many good things bombarding me.

Exhibit: B - YOU searching for my attention, searching in all of my hiding spots, searching throughout my to-do list, searching through my subconscious and mindless motivations to self-indulge,
and waiting... waiting in the secret place, waiting in the quiet place, waiting in the still place, waiting at the top of my to-do list, waiting for me - simply me.

Exhibit: We - WE dancing amidst a list of expectations, we dancing through the stillness, we painting a relationship among our relationships, we whispering in the busy places with little grins, we alive, we forgiving and giving each other second chances, we on dates, we waiting for each other to answer, we telling each other deep and dark secrets, we enjoying your sense of humor, we inspired by the Divine Smile, we in relationship.

I embrace Exhibit: We.
Most my days
I feel the same -
Laughter, joy,
Fear and shame.

While other days,
I break through;
I handle and
Experience You.

Though it's hard
To often see
Exhibit A,
Exhibit B,

I prefer,
I search out,
I embrace
Exhibit: We.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Adapted from my journal on September 13, 2012:

   I am thinking about the word Hosanna. So often when we sing it, I think we think it means "Praise God!" But it means the equivalent of "Lord, save me!" And if we knew what it meant, I wonder if we would sing it differently. I have definitely been singing it differently lately.

   I need God to save me. I mean, he already saved me at a justification level. But that's not what I mean. I need God to save me at a daily-save-me-from-myself-and-everything-pressuring-me level. I need him to save me from not being able to pay for school, my car, and food. I need him to save me from my own selfishness. I need him to save me from failure to complete my school work well. I need him to save me from my anger. I need him to save me from the agony of waiting... But most of all, I need him to save me from a failure to seek him, to feel his love, to love him back, to know him, and be close to him. I am in such danger of not being close to God.

I need God to save me.
   I need his salvation.
   Everyday.
   In everything.
   Hosanna!
 
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