This poem is dedicated to all the students at Harvest Baptist Church that I have grown to really love and appreciate over the last few months. This is a result of my journey with the Lord and learning who I really am in His eye as opposed to who I see myself as. So often, we are tempted to think little of ourselves because of how messed up we are, but if we really see ourselves as God sees us, we will realize that there is greatness and worth tucked inside this fragile frame. No matter what the world tells us, or what we tell ourselves, we are wanted by the Eternal Creator.

--- --- ---

 

You.

Yeah, you.

I'm speaking to the real you.

 

The you that only you see

When you're hiding from His mercy.

The you that you cover up

When ashamed of that other love.

I'm talking to you.

Y. O. U.

Do I know you?

I don't think that I do.

I know a facade.

I see a mask.

I know there's something more.

I know there's something past

The happy face that you wear,

That pretty lace in your hair,

The cozy space that you share,

Your high school days - like you cared.

There's someone inside of you

   You'd rather not meet - 

      Mysterious and hidden - 

         You don't know what you'd see.

You've been hiding so long

You don't remember yourself - 

Your real self, the true you - 

Not the pictures on the shelf.

Are you a monster or a prince?

The question makes you wince.

Are you the drop-out or the dancer?

You don't know how to answer.

But I'm talking to you.

Y. O. U.

Do any know you?

My God knows you through.

 

"You have scoped me

And You have known me.

You know when I'm down,

And when I'm in town;

You discern my thoughts for days

And are well-acquainted with my ways.

Before I speak a word,

You might as well have heard." (adapted from Psalm 139:1-4)

 

But the story won't stop here.

You don't need to live in fear.

He knows you every night

Because He made you very right.

"Your craftsmanship is awesome.

You made me with wonder.

I know I'm tailor-made.

I am never going under." (adapted from Psalm 139:13-14)

 

I'm calling out to you.

Your heaven-made self - 

Come out of that shellf;

Get off of that shelf.

 

Come alive and meet Him - 

The One who knows you - 

Stop hiding from your past;

Find a love that is true.

 

Stop faking you.

You're not too far.

He'll take you in

Just as you are.

 

He's calling to you.

Y. O. U.

Don't fear to be true.

He loves the real you.

I wrote this as a outburst of my heart after singing the hymn Sovereign by Chris Tomlin this morning in church. I was overwhelmed with the sovereign tenderness of my Heavenly Father, and how much he takes joy in any little attempt I make to love him back.

In a tender moment

In the eye of my mind

I see a father weeping - 

With tears, soft and mild - 

In the fragile embrace

Of his loving child.

"Daddy, are you sad?

Did I do any wrong?"

"No, my child, I'm not.

There is no sadness here.

I cry because of love - 

There is joy in these tears."

The the moment is done.

I wake and then I see

That You were the Father,

And the child was me. 

--- --- ---

I can't remember how many times in my life I have felt like the least important person in the whole entire world, or the one with the dirtiest secret or the heaviest burden, or the most inadequate person for the job I was picked for, and so on. I wrestle so often with inadequacy and insufficiency. I almost never believe that I am loved or good enough. And maybe you are like that too. Maybe today you are feeling worthless, or horrible, or dirty, or a combination of any of those.

The Lord reminded me this morning of Romans 8:37. It says,

"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us."

It's nice to know that we conquer, but why do we overwhelmingly conquer? Because Jesus lives in us and he is THE Conqueror. He conquered life and death and everything in between. You are, by nature, a champion if you belong to Jesus. Believe it! When the most powerful force in the entire universe, the Creator of Everything, is on your side, there is nothing you can't "overwhelmingly conquer"...ever.

So my little encouragement to you today is this: It is a denial of your identity to think you can't overcome and conquer. Get back up, and fight again. You are a champion.

You just did that thing you told yourself you would never do...

You looked in the mirror this morning and realized that you grew up to be just like your dad...
You woke up this morning and realized what happened last night...and why he is laying next to you...
You just said something nasty that you know you will never be able to take back...
You just went to that website, and you know she will find out...

Sin makes a huge mark on our lives. It cannot be erased. It stays in your story, always haunting you, and never letting you move on. Often, we go to great lengths to cover up what we did. We even, in extreme cases, think of ending it all so that we don't have to deal with the consequences.

Sin has consequences. But we often don't realize it until it is too late. Then what? Is there hope? Is it worth it to suffer through the consequences? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? Better question: is there a light at the end of my heart? Will I ever give up this pet sin? Can I overcome? Is there such a thing as grace?

I was just reading this morning in Matthew 26-27. In particular, I was reading two accounts of extreme sorrow. Peter was wrecked over denying Jesus. Judas was wrecked over betraying Jesus and seeing him condemned. Both had committed extreme sins against the Son of God. But there was an essential difference between these two men. Peter returned to Jesus - sin and all - and found redemption and grace (cf. John 21:15-17). Judas just took his life. He couldn't handle the thought of bearing the consequences of his sin.

Something that hit me as I was reading about these two men this morning was that they represent a choice that all of us must make. All of us make mistakes, and sometimes we make huge ones. We sin, and there is no denying it. And when we do, we must face the consequences of our sins. But here is where the choice comes in: we can either face the crushing weight of our sin and let it overwhelm us like Judas did, or we can turn to Jesus and find strength and hope and grace to make it through like Peter did.

This seems like an easy choice, but so often I see people choose to act out of hopelessness, whether they turn to cutting, porn, running away, or, in extreme cases, suicide. Why is it so easy and compelling these days to run to pseudo-saviors? Why do we turn to these things to hide from the consequences of our sins?

I have three suggestions as to why I think people don't turn to Jesus to find grace in their disgrace:

1. They don't think they deserve it. This is a legitimate problem today. So many people out there don't think that they will receive God's grace because they don't deserve it. They usually will think they have to do more good works to muster up favor with God, or do more penance, or perform three more sacraments, or cut one more thing out of their life, or fast longer, and so on. They think they have to earn God's grace. But that's what grace is all about. You can't earn it! It is a gift - that you don't deserve! That's the whole point. If you deserved it, you wouldn't need grace. It wouldn't even be grace; it would just be your wages - what you earned.

So I encourage you, if you are feeling like you can't get grace because you don't deserve it: lay down your pride and turn to Jesus with all of your garbage. He will forgive. That's real grace.

2. They don't know they can turn to Jesus. Most people don't know that grace can be found with Jesus because they don't even know Jesus, and think he is just a religious symbol on a cross necklace or bumper sticker. This is a tragedy. People don't know that they can find grace with Jesus because they don't even know about Jesus.

So I encourage you, if you are a Christian reading this, pray for those who don't know about the grace of Jesus. Pray that millions today would find the healing and restoring grace of Jesus.

3. They don't want to be humble enough to ask for grace. This is something that I see around me everyday. People are too proud to ask for grace. They think they can figure it out on their own. They think that they can navigate the spider's web of their mess on their own. But when they mess it up even more, they don't want to admit they were wrong in the first place. But we have made it so much easier these days to medicate our messes with apps, social groups, drugs, pursuits, and other false gods of this century (read my post on medicating our pain here), that the grace that Jesus offers gets lost amidst our plethora of "saviors." So that when our sins confront us again and again and again, we are not told to give it up and run to Jesus for forgiveness and hope and grace and redemption. Instead, we are told, "There's an app for that!"

So I encourage you, if you are lost in the middle of your false saviors who promise healing, but give more needs, turn to Jesus. Lay down your pride and admit that you can't do this on your own. You need Jesus. Today.

"Here He comes!"
"He must be The One who is to come."
"He will rescue us from the Romans!"

Hours later...

"Who does he think he is?"
"I could have sold those for lots of money!!"
"Who gave him the right to ruin everything like this??"

This was the attitude of the people the day Jesus entered the city of Jerusalem riding on a donkey - just a week before his crucifixion. As he entered, his welcome party was boisterous and excited. They laid their coats and big palm leaves to give him the best red carpet welcome that they could afford. They shouted his praises. In that moment, he was their hero.

Everyone knew he was coming to conquer their enemy. Yet they were confused about which enemy he came to defeat. They thought he had come to oust the Roman soldiers from their midst. This is why they were so confused and offended when he immediately entered the temple turning over money tables and cracking his whip at business men (literally!) and yelling, "My Father's house is called The House of Prayer, but you have made it a den of thieves!" He was furious that sin had so overrun their lives that even The House of Prayer was merely another business venue to them.

Yes, he had come to vanquish the foe. But this foe was much more oppressive than the Romans. He had come to conquer sin.

So often in our lives, we get excited about the King of Glory entering our lives, but are so offended when he begins to shine the light of truth on our own sin. We want the privileges of being known as God's child, but it too much for him to ask us to clean up and give him 100% of our hearts.

We are a culture so used to popularity charts. We have the Grammys, the Emmys, the Oscars, the Golden Globe, the Golden Boot, the Golden Compass. Everywhere we go, we want to know who is the #1, the chart topper, the first. And we do that in our own lives too. If we are really spiritual, we might give Jesus first place in our lives. He can be #1. But you only have to have 51% popularity to be #1. Jesus wants 100%. He wants to be your everything. He wants you to hold NOTHING back.

So I challenge you, when you so gladly accept the Jesus who comes to conquer, expect a Jesus who comes to cleanse...because he wants to conquer your sin.