Recently, I was asked to share some of my thoughts on the book-based movie that was released on Valentine's Day, Fifty Shades of Grey. I was hesitant at first because I didn't have any thoughts... I didn't know much about it, not having read the book or watched the movie. This led me into some uncomfortable research about the characters, the message, and the implications of this twisted story. What I came to in the end was the horrifying realization that, more than ever before, our culture loves

to define its own morality based on its desires, and then celebrate that form of pseudo-morality as its greatest form of consciousness. Consequently, those who dare stand up to this twisted morality are automatically labeled as haters because they happen to believe that morality comes from Someone besides the self or this messed up society.

Therefore, I believe it more imperative than ever for Christians to have a proper framework for thinking through sexual and moral issues and to come to rock-solid convictions that won't be tossed about by mere desire. It is with this kind of daring candor that I offer up some of my thoughts on the cultural phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey.

If someone dares to orient their sexuality around God's design, they must understand a few things...

Truth #1: Your Most Powerful Sexual Organ is Your Brain*

“So really it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more sexual energy, more intelligence, because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not only the opposite sex body, but everything that is hidden.” — Osho

It’s my hope that I can accurately think about not only Fifty Shades of Grey (FSOG) but also about BDSM, because if there’s one thing that the phenomenon known as FSOG has proven, it’s that sexual fantasy never has and never will be just a man’s world.

I actually just skimmed a piece last night featuring actress and documentary director Rashida Jones, who has a film that talks about the amateur porn industry coming out soon entitled Hot Girls Wanted. Basically it addresses how more and more 18-19 year-olds are getting into the field and how it affects them. According to Rashida “It’s performative, women aren’t feeling joy from it…This would be a whole different conversation if women were like ‘we were having sex, we love it so much. We want more of it. We feel so good about our bodies and ourselves…’ It’s fulfilling a male fantasy.”

Based on the millions of women who ate up FSOG like it was a hot fudge sundae, I’m not so sure I can 100% agree with Rashida. Even if I wanted to.

Does that mean that I think porn is a beautiful, special and holistically fulfilling experience for everyone involved?

Absolutely not.
It’s not even close.

But every day, there are women who watch porn. And a large majority of them got their start by reading erotica. And many of them don’t want to stop.

So there goes another theory. Apparently sex is not about “men being visual” and “women being emotional” when it comes to their needs and how to meet them. It would appear that the book (well, the trilogy) was not enough for the ladies. There had to be some kind of visual to feed into the fantasy. It would seem that the book could only “scratch the itch” but so far. (Which is why I see erotica more as a “gateway drug to porn” more than anything else.)

And yet, as I was reading one of the interviews from the actors about the film, I found something that Jamie Dornan, the guy who is portraying Christian Grey, said to be fascinating. When talking about shooting scenes in the sex dungeon with his co-star Dakota Johnson (who portrays Anastasia Steele), he said this:

“Some of the Red Room stuff was uncomfortable,” Dornan admitted. “There were times when Dakota was not wearing much, and I had to do stuff to her that I’d never choose to do to a woman.”

Things in the room made him uncomfortable. Some of the things that he had to do, “the real him” would never do to a woman. Hmph. Doctors, scientists, and therapists alike will agree on two facts:

1. Sex can be a complex topic.
2. The most powerful sexual organ is not our genitalia, but our minds.

Therefore, I have to ask. What is going on with so many of us that our minds are stimulated by what the BDSM world brings? Whether we choose to actually participate or simply watch Christian and Anastasia do it, why do so many of us find that it drives our senses rather than disgusts us?

Married people trying something new is one thing. But whether married or single, when we are stimulated by the thought or sight of people totally overpowering another (sometimes to the point of complete humiliation) or physically harming each other, then what does that say about us? About our views of sex? Deeper yet, about our views of the purpose of sex?

The Osho quote at the beginning of this post says that more sex can make a person more intelligent. Some may agree and some may not. I’ll say this: even Scripture says that husbands and wives need to engage one another regularly (I Corinthians 7:5) and being that God came up with sex. I get that it, within his boundaries, should only make a person better.

And I guess that’s my bottom line point...

Since the mind is the greatest sex organ and sex, in its original design, was created to make us better people, even mentally.

How is 50 Shades doing that exactly?

Truth #2: Sex is a Spiritual Experience

“Sex is the closest that many people will ever come to a spiritual experience. Indeed, it is because it is a spiritual experience of sorts that so many chase after it with a repetitive, desperate kind of abandon. Often, whether they know it or not, they are searching for God.”—M. Scott Peck

A Scripture that I love is 1 Corinthians 6:16-20, in the Message paraphrase:

“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’ There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for ‘becoming one’ with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

Sex is not just about two (or more) bodies getting a sexual release from/with one another. (See above discussion.) Sex brings about spiritual mysteries as well as physical facts. And when sex avoids commitment and intimacy, it tends to leave us lonely. It keeps us from fully knowing what “becoming one” is really all about.

That’s not what the world says. Of course not. That is what the Bible says, though.

Maybe I missed it in the middle of skimming articles about FSOG, but I don’t recall a Bible being inside of Christian Grey’s Red Room (or outside of it, for that matter). However, there’s no way I can address this topic without talking about the spiritual side of it. Or the lack thereof.

I find it quite poetic that the leading male character’s name is “Christian Grey” and that one of the quotes used in the trailer is “Love is not black and white.”

Um, yes it is. Biblically speaking, anyway.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, the great love chapter of the Bible, tells us exact what and how love is. Kind is the second adjective. Some definitions of kind are gentle, considerate and tender. How many people are able to say that their relationship is filled to the brim with kindness—both in and out of the bedroom.

1 John 1:5 tells us exactly how God is as well: “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.”

He’s crystal clear. There’s no darkness, no “shadiness.”

And yet, aren’t a lot of us like Christian Grey? One way or another? Christians, yet “grey” on so many issues that we shouldn’t be?

There are going to be a lot (and I mean, a lot) of people who will be flocking to see FSOG. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what they’ll be looking for on the screen. You can just peep the trailer and know that Mr. Grey has some, let’s just say “deep issues.” And as I talked about above, I find it pretty tragic that Anastasia gives him her virginity. More than anything because of what the Bible says about the purpose of sex (celebrating the love between a husband and wife) and how we are to see our bodies (sacred).

I get that many individuals will simply say, “Brant, what’s the big deal? It’s just a movie.” But I don’t know... Is it? Consider the fact that we are not only physical beings, but spiritual ones too, and look at the word “spirit” from the angle of being our “life,” our “essence,” and our “nature.”

For the married people who may get down like that, am I saying it’s wrong?

Umm... Life has taught me that you can get to the bottom line of a lot of things in life if you’re honest about your motives (Proverbs 17:20, Proverbs 21:2, Proverbs 21:8 - The Message). Only you know what those are.

But what I am saying is that John 4:24 tells us that “God is Spirit” and so there’s no way that he was going to invent something like sex and want it to be void of spirituality. Therefore whatever we decide to do with our mates – our lives and their lives, our essence and their essence, our nature and their nature – should ever remain on the forefront of our minds.

Based on what I’ve read and researched about FSOG, spirituality in the story is an afterthought at best.

In the meantime, you know, I really like M. Scott Peck’s quote on sex above. That in his mind, sex is the epitome of a spiritual experience while at the same time, a lot of people do not realize that chasing after sex is really about longing to be in a closer relationship with the Creator of it.

Based on the numbers that FSOG is projected to have its opening weekend, perhaps that’s the silver lining to all of this. It shows those of us who have found satisfaction in the love and tenderness of the Savior are actually on to something. It shows that millions and millions of people need to be reminded of the fact that they don’t have to chase after erotica or porn or sexual fetishes to make themselves feel complete.

They just need to put the Spirit and their spirit first; everything else will work itself out. For their good. The good of their mind, body and spirit.

Yes, in and out of the bedroom.

That kind of truth really is black and white.

No grey.

*A lot of my thoughts have been influenced by www.xxxchurch.com. Go check them out! They are awesome people who love Jesus and who love all kinds of sinners.

A candle lit in darkness,

The glowing light of One,

Pushing through the shadows -

The Prince of Light had come.

His glory is among us.

The evil rule is done.

The darkness is retreating;

Our Prince of Light has come.

His presence is inviting;

Around Him is no fear.

There is no need for hiding;

My Prince of Light is here!

I tend to wander around in this thing called faith. I often figure things out as I am going, and it can be really frustrating, sometimes, to feel like everyone else knows more about following Jesus than I do

.

It is a struggle every day knowing that I am not as close to God as I really wish I could be. It is a struggle every wanting to see and hear this God that I try to follow. But then, when I am honest about my struggle, I am comforted by the assurance that I am not the only one who has ever been wrecked over this. 

There have been many saints who have wandered through these same murky waters. There are two lives in particular that I really look up to because they have traveled the lonely road of trying to figure out what it means to live for God despite not knowing what they were doing. These are my heroes.

1. St. Augustine

Growing up in Northern Africa, Aurelius Augustinus (aka Augustine) didn't have a lot of money. His parents spent more on his schooling than they could really afford. Augustine had a lot of second-rate school teachers in Thagaste. 

After a while, his family was able to afford to send him to Carthage, the best place in the world at the time to get a great education. But while he was there, he couldn't sit still. Though his mom prayed for him all the time, he had an insane craving for pleasure. He found himself a girl who became his concubine for many years. With this unnamed woman he had a son, Adeodatus. That same year, Augustine's father died. 

For many years, even though he was pursuing a higher understanding of religion, he couldn't shake his lifestyle of wanting more pleasure. This was his life for many years. But after a lot of frustrated searching and anxiety, Augustine had a crazy vision in his back yard. Before him he saw Lady Continence, who told him to take a leap of faith. He had been so agitated in body and mind that the vision came as a release. When he overheard the phrase "pick up and read" from a child at a nearby house, he grabbed his book of the Apostle Paul and read a passage. It seemed to be talking specifically to him. 

After that, he gave up all his worldly dreams. He quit his teaching job. He left Carthage, and the following Easter, he was baptized by Bishop Ambrose in Milan. Augustine and his mother decided to return to Africa, where they felt that they would be able to do the most good for God. There, he was very active in his church, and wrote a lot of things for the church so they could understand the Bible better. 

Over the last 17 years of his life, he had lost his father, his mother, and his son. He also lost his young, ambitious dreams of gaining the whole world. But he gained something far more important - a life that mattered and a hope that carried him through everything. He gained Jesus.

2. Rich Mullins

Rich Mullins was a musical prodigy who rose to Christian music fame and fortune only to walk away and live on a Navajo reservation. 

An artistic genius, raised on a tree farm in Indiana by a callous father, Rich wrestled all of his life with the brokenness and crippling insecurity born of his childhood. A lover of Jesus and a rebel in the

church, Rich refused to let his struggles with his own darkness tear him away from a God he was determined to love. As he struggled with success in Nashville and depression in Wichita, Rich desired most of all to live a life of honest and reckless faith amidst a culture of religion and conformity.

He was a prophet and a poet and a beggar, more comfortable with the homeless than the wealthy, more in love with Jesus than religion, more interested in the music than the song. He felt too much, and held too much. He searched desperately his whole life for a way to belong down here, but he never did. He was just passing through.

He said at one of his concerts one time, 

“I’m all the time being asked by people, ‘How do you feel closer to God?’ And I kind of always want to say, ‘I don’t know.’ When I read the lives of most of the great saints, they didn’t necessarily feel very close to God. When I read the Psalms, I get the feeling like David and the other psalmists felt quite far from God for most of the time. Closeness to God is not about feelings. Closeness to God is about obedience. It’s just as simple as that.”

Because of his life of love, Shane Claiborne said this about him,

“Rich Mullins is one of the most interesting people I’ve ever known. Interesting because he was honest — not perfect. He made you feel like Jesus was part of the band, telling stories around the fire, laughing with you at the bar. He made you feel like you could own your darkness and be honest with your doubts. He knew that inside each of us there is a sinner and a saint at war, and on good days the saint prevails, and on bad days –Jesus loves sinners. He was as winsome as a kid and as wise as a chief. This film captures the life of one of the most important people in the history of modern evangelicalism, a ragamuffin that our children and our grandchildren need to know about.”

This was a man who loved God no matter how he felt, no matter what other Christians were doing, and no matter what lies he heard from the enemy. He was committed to following Jesus no matter the cost.

And I, too, want that to be said of my life.

One of the of the biggest things that God is teaching me this week is the distinction between believing in him and following him. As I was reading in John this morning, this verse hit me and would not leave my mind all morning. John 8:31-32 says, 

"So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed him, 'If you continue in my word, then you are truly disciples of mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." 

There are many times in my life that I am tempted to take it easy in my faith, to slack off in my spiritual disciplines, or to be less alert in spiritual warfare, but Jesus says that his disciples will continue in his word. Those who continue to follow Jesus are those who are his disciples, and that is the goal of my life - to follow Jesus every day without taking a break. To that end, I have intentionally decided to do some things every day to keep me following Jesus.

1. Looking for just one thing each day from the Word. I think we often get overwhelmed with everything there is to learn in the Bible and everything we have to do to be a "good Christian" that we just forget everything. But one of the most powerful pieces of advice I have ever been given was when I went off to camp one summer. This sweet lady in our church wrote me a card that week and told me to just try to pick out one thing that God was teaching me that week. So I did and my life was totally changed that week. So now I try to do that whenever I read the Bible. Just pick out one thing that God is showing me that day.
2. Looking forward to small blessings. My dad always used to say to my family, "Anticipation is in and of itself a sensory delight." In other words, it feels good to look forward to something. And the more you look forward to something, the more you enjoy it. And the more you enjoy something, the more grateful you are for it. Bottom line: When I anticipate the little things that God is going to do for me every day, I will notice them, enjoy them, and be grateful for them. And believe it or not, I feel like God is blessing me more just because I choose to look forward to and notice his blessings more often.
3. Chatting with other who are following Jesus. Almost nothing encourages me to follow Jesus more than hanging out with someone else who is following Jesus. Some of my best friends in this entire world are those who love Jesus with all of their hearts and are serving him passionately wherever their lives take them. Just a simple chat or just a little time spent with Christine, Benjamin, Mark, David, or Ryan makes me want to love Jesus even more. It's amazing the power of choosing good friends.
4. Talking to God in the middle of normal things. Obviously it is good to plan specific times to pray every day, like in the morning, at meals, and before bed. You have probably heard all that before. So I am not going to dive into that. But I think that we often forget to relate to God as the real person that he is. He has feelings too. He cares about the things in your life. He likes to do stuff with you. And he wants to talk to you like a friend (cf. John 15:15). So when I talk to God in the middle of every day, normal things, I am living out the reality that he loves me, cares about me, and wants to be with me. And that just makes me want to love him and follow him more.

So what about you? What are the little things you do each day to follow Jesus?

Is there an area of your life that you know you need to start following Jesus in?

Don't wait until tomorrow to experience the blessing of a life well-lived. Follow Jesus every day starting today.

In August of 1965, Paul Simon of Simon & Garfunkel released an album entitled The Paul Simon Songbook. The first track of this album was the now-famous "I Am a Rock." This song has gone on to become quite legendary in the annals of rock music. But when I read through the lyrics of this song for the first time as a high schooler, I was quite amazed at how depressing the logical outcome of this song was. He wrote,

"A winter's day in a deep and dark December; I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island.

I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock, I am an island.

Don't talk of love, but I've heard the words before; it's sleeping in my memory. I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried. I am a rock, I am an island.

I have my books and my poetry to protect me; I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries."

 As a Christian, I realize that this is not the reality of my life. Though things may be tough, I am not called to retreat and back away. I am called to stand out and transform the world around me. Much like Simon was lamenting, I don't belong. But unlike him, this is a very powerful identity that has been given to me. I stand out so I can transform the world.

To everyone in the Church, I want to encourage you, you are not a rock, nor are you an island. Instead, you have been set apart to be much more like an iPod. How you live has kingdom effects and those effects can be heard loud and clear.

An island is definitely set apart, but not in the way that we are supposed to be set apart. It just is away from everything. It doesn’t try to get in anyone’s business, but will certainly make you feel good if you come to it to relax. Unfortunately, some churches are like this.

A rock is set apart. People usually try to avoid rocks (driving, biking, kayaking, etc.). Rocks can hurt. But they can also look pretty when they all gather together and do nothing and stay out of your way. Unfortunately, some churches are like this too.

But we are not called to be like and island or a rock. In many ways, instead, we are called to be a little bit more like an iPod. An iPod is the source of something that can totally transform someone’s day: music. When people encounter good music, a day of clouds and rain can flip upside down and a smile can come back to their faces. Music has the power to totally change your perspective; it just needs to be played. Turn the iPod on. Put in the headphones. Bam!

In a similar way, the church is a lot more like an iPod than like an island or a rock. We have something inside of us that can totally transform the world. We just need to let it out and press play.

In what ways are you pressing play today?