Preface: This post is a bit longer than my normal posts, but I believe that it is not only from my heart, but from the heart of Jesus our groom.

Her beauty inspires the most creative
meditations, poems, images and songs
in my heart.

   Over the last one year, five months, and sixteen days, I have learned to a much greater degree what it means to love another person deeply. I have fallen in love with a girl who is so much more than I deserve. She stirs my affections like no one ever has, does, or ever could. The spark of her smile sets my heart ablaze with a forest fire of passion. Her beauty  inspires the most creative meditations, poems, images, and songs in my heart. To say the least, I am beginning to tap into the glorious mystery of romantic love - if only a little (I mean, we are still dating). Obviously love is so much more than romance, but this is something that I never learned much about until I began to love Christine. And the more I find out what it means to love her, the more I get a glimpse of the passionate side of Christ's love toward his church.
   I can remember one particular moment, when Christine and I were very close to each other. I was embracing her, she was snuggling up to me, and there was pure enjoyment during that moment as we just enjoyed the presence of the other. But as I was thinking back on that moment, I was pondering on what kind of mindset might have destroyed that close connection. And the big thing that came to my mind was a lack of confidence and trust. If I had thought in my mind during that moment, "Man, I really don't deserve her," or "I shouldn't be doing this," or if she had been thinking, "Why am I doing this?" or "There is no way I will ever measure up to him, so why bother?" then the closeness would have totally been shot down. It was because we had confidence toward one another and trust in one another that we could lavish our presence on each other and truly enjoy it - something even as small as hugging. The writer of Hebrews tells us that we can now confidently approach Jesus (4:16). And as I learned from being with Christine, you need confidence toward another to even take part in romance with them. Confidence and trust are foundational. I get that we must humbly approach God with due understanding that we are nothing without him, but to approach him with anything short of confidence will kill your intimacy with him. It is the solid rock upon which romance is built. It is the fertile plain out of which intimacy spouts.

He is coming for his bride and it is
going to be the wedding to trump
all weddings.

   Jesus Christ is madly in love with his church. He is coming for his bride (2 Corinthians 11:2) and it is going to be the wedding to trump all weddings (Revelation 19:9). It will be the celebration of celebrations. He will hold nothing back in his expressions of pure unbridled love and joy. He is passionate in the way he pursues her. I believe it is entirely biblical to see Jesus Christ as the most romantic person to ever exist. (cf. Romans 5:8; Romans 8:35, 37-39; Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 5:25, just to reference a few). But if this beautiful romance is to flower and foster and flourish, it must be returned. His bride, about whom he is extremely passionate, must learn to love him back with raptures of love that are not ordinary, not common, not mundane, but poetic, creative, beautifully expressive, vulnerable, passionate, and true. He is coming for a bride who is truly IN LOVE with him.
   Now, I can do my best at loving him back like this, and that is what he desires of me, but I am only one person. I am not his bride. The church is his bride, of which I am a small part. Me loving him with all I have is not the same as the church loving him with all she has. Jesus desires for his bride to love with all she has. He desires for her to pursue him fervently, creatively, poetically, and deeply, like he loves her. I will love him with all I got, but it is not enough until his complete church loves him passionately.
   This concept is vital for the church, as a whole, to grasp. Jesus is tender, and gentle, and adoring, and romantic toward his church. She is pure. He has cleansed her. She is strong. He has strengthened her with his Spirit. She is able. He has equipped her. But she must be loving. For he has desired her...all of her. In all of our teachings about loving God, there seems to be missing anything about a romantic pursuit of Jesus our groom. This element of romantic love, though not the most important part of love, is still crucial. We talk a lot about his passionate love for us, but it is hard to come by people who inspire you to love Jesus with all the romance that you got.

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Would you paint your spiritual love life in
drab grays or in vibrant hues?

  How about you? How is your love life...with Jesus, I mean? Would you paint it in some drab grays, or is it a colorful portrait filled with vibrant hues? Be encouraged, it is not too late to begin anew. It is our privilege as a church to fall madly in love with Jesus again. Just as he encouraged the church in Ephesus (Revelation 2:4-5) to return to their first love, he is desiring your love. Return to him. Commit today to put in the work it takes (contrary to what you may have thought, romance takes a lot of work) to love Jesus passionately and romantically. Sing to him in melodies of joy, draw for him with expressions of romantic inspiration, write to him the most poetic and descriptive sonnets. Or if the artsy side of life is not your abode, run for him with all of your strength, fight for him with all of your heart, lead for him with all of your wisdom and intellect. I think you get my picture. Commit today to practice falling in love with him every day. Because when you do, your heart will follow your feet (quick side note: please don't "Follow your heart," as Hollywood tells you. Lead your heart with your actions. Where your mind and feet go, there your heart will follow.) Fall in love with Jesus with a renewed vigor, and you will discover a romance that is far more true, deep, and exciting than anything you have ever experienced. I think this is what Jesus was talking about when he said, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength (Mark 12:30)."

   Tonight, I was at work. I work for a coffee shop on my college campus. As I was behind the counter, two young men came up to order a drink. They had been talking about their upcoming radio show. Curious, I asked them what their show was about. The first one told me that they actually ran two different radio shows and that they were each having the other as a guest speaker on their own respective shows. So I asked them what their shows were about. The first one told me his was called "Hebrews 4:12." It basically sought to integrate a biblical worldview into many modern trends. At least that what I remember he said (to be honest). The second young man told me his was called "The Bridge."  Its aim was to bring many theological hot button issues to the surface and discuss them. To accomplish this, this guy would contact really big names in the Christian leadership realm to be on his show. Mind you, this young man is in his second year of college, appearing to be around 19 or 20. He isn't very old. And when I asked him how in the world he could ever get people such as N.T Wright, Matt Chandler, Tim Keller, Tullian Tchividjian, or other such "big names" to be on his show, he simply told me, "People are much more accessible than we think." He has also contacted others such as Mark Driscoll, James MacDonald, and Rob Bell to appear on his show. Though these did not accept his offer, it still shows the fact that he was not afraid to ask.
   As I stood there and listened to this young man tell me about the level of people he had in mind to be on his show and those who already appeared on his show, I was blown away by his level of comfort in attempting to associate with such famous people, especially as young as he was. (But if you think about it, really, he was just looking to be blessed by  really effective ministers.) And as I was contemplating on my encounter with these two men, some really important truths began to percolate and bubble to the forefront of my mind. God has given us all far more potential than we actually tap into. If we would only try to push our limits, we would realize that God is already there doing incredible things. Had we attempted them sooner, we would have been part of what he was already doing that much longer.

Do you think that God could use you this year
beyond that invisible line you often draw in the sand?

   Think about Caleb in  Joshua 15:13-19 who drove out 3 giants by himself in order to obtain his inheritance in Israel. He was 80! Can you even imagine an 80 year old whooping a giant, let alone 3? Do you think that was normal for his day? Of course not. But Caleb was not content to live in a tiny box when there was so much that God could do through him - if he would only attempt it.
   How far does your comfort zone extend? Do you think that God could use you this year beyond that invisible line you often draw in the sand?
   I challenge you, go for the wildest, most awesome thing that God has ever laid on your heart. And when you do, do it with all of your heart.


P.S. Here are the sites for their radio shows:
The Bridge: http://www.thebridgemcr.webs.com/
Hebrews 4:12: http://www.hebrews412.com/

   So the other day, I was thinking about what it means to live in shame. I was reflecting upon my past, and the experiences I put myself through. For eight years of my life, I lived in shame. I was in bondage to pornography addiction. Every day that I decided to indulge in my selfish, fleshly, and short-term desires, I left feeling even more guilty and shameful. And after years of doing this, I began to feel hopeless guilt and shame. I was not only living in shame, I was beginning to live in fear. The weight of my own sin, that I kept indulging in - though I wanted to stop - was extremely heavy to carry. As a result I began to rationalize what I was doing. If I couldn't avoid the shame by stopping the actions, I was going to avoid the shame by redefining the moral impact of those actions: "it's not that bad," "every guys goes through this at least once in his life," "I was born with these desires," "come on, she is basically asking me to undress her in my mind, so it's not all my fault," so on and so forth, blah blah blah. If I couldn't stop the sin, I was going to make it seem not that bad so that I could handle the mental and emotional consequences of my addiction. In short, I wasn't running as much from sin as I was from shame. Distance from guilt was far more important to me than closeness to God.
   And I wonder how much that is true in our lives in general. Maybe yours isn't a sin of lust, but of something else; you keep committing the sin (or omitting the good - James 4:17) over and over again. And to you the righteous guilt is heavier than the relational gap. I John 2:15 says, "Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If any one loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." But so often we set our affections on worldly things, like feeling alright or appearing to be good.
   But can I ask some honest questions?
   Do we run from sin or just from shame?
   Is it the distance from God that we hate or just the guilt?
   Do we desire holiness or simply a conscience that doesn't bite us?
   Are we in love with God or simply feeling good?
   In The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses, C.S. Lewis said, "It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with sex and drink and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
   This week I challenge you, SET YOUR AFFECTIONS HIGHER!!!

   Every year, I come up with a theme for the year. It is kind of like a New Year's resolution, but a little different. I try to focus my spiritual attention on this particular theme throughout the year. I was inspired to do this by a favorite preacher of mine, Tom Harmon. Last year's theme was "Listen." So I focused on the skill of listening, not only to other people, which is hard enough, but to God. I confess, I did not do a great job of learning to listen. I still have a long way to go. But there seems to be this funny pattern every year: I typically improve in a year's theme much more the year after I focus on it. So I hope to grow even more in the area of listening this next year.
   But this next year, I my theme is "Deny yourself. Follow Christ." This is a two-fold theme. First, God has been showing me in the last few months a big pattern of selfishness in my life. Almost everything I do, even spiritual things, seems to have a selfish purpose behind it - to be truly honest. I don't want to be selfish, but that is what my heart naturally reverts to in times when I let my guard down. Pride is diametrically opposed to the authority of Jesus. Jesus calls me to deny myself and follow Him, not me. So this year, I am dedicating my mental and spiritual efforts to the endeavor of laying my life down every day.
   What is your resolution this year? I'm sure you have one. Is it about making Jesus more famous or is it about about making yourself more attractive? I would encourage you to think about your spiritual life in this past year. Are you satisfied with where you are at? Think about where you want to be by 2013, pray for the Lord's help to get there, and busy yourself following him.