You just did that thing you told yourself you would never do...

You looked in the mirror this morning and realized that you grew up to be just like your dad...
You woke up this morning and realized what happened last night...and why he is laying next to you...
You just said something nasty that you know you will never be able to take back...
You just went to that website, and you know she will find out...

Sin makes a huge mark on our lives. It cannot be erased. It stays in your story, always haunting you, and never letting you move on. Often, we go to great lengths to cover up what we did. We even, in extreme cases, think of ending it all so that we don't have to deal with the consequences.

Sin has consequences. But we often don't realize it until it is too late. Then what? Is there hope? Is it worth it to suffer through the consequences? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? Better question: is there a light at the end of my heart? Will I ever give up this pet sin? Can I overcome? Is there such a thing as grace?

I was just reading this morning in Matthew 26-27. In particular, I was reading two accounts of extreme sorrow. Peter was wrecked over denying Jesus. Judas was wrecked over betraying Jesus and seeing him condemned. Both had committed extreme sins against the Son of God. But there was an essential difference between these two men. Peter returned to Jesus - sin and all - and found redemption and grace (cf. John 21:15-17). Judas just took his life. He couldn't handle the thought of bearing the consequences of his sin.

Something that hit me as I was reading about these two men this morning was that they represent a choice that all of us must make. All of us make mistakes, and sometimes we make huge ones. We sin, and there is no denying it. And when we do, we must face the consequences of our sins. But here is where the choice comes in: we can either face the crushing weight of our sin and let it overwhelm us like Judas did, or we can turn to Jesus and find strength and hope and grace to make it through like Peter did.

This seems like an easy choice, but so often I see people choose to act out of hopelessness, whether they turn to cutting, porn, running away, or, in extreme cases, suicide. Why is it so easy and compelling these days to run to pseudo-saviors? Why do we turn to these things to hide from the consequences of our sins?

I have three suggestions as to why I think people don't turn to Jesus to find grace in their disgrace:

1. They don't think they deserve it. This is a legitimate problem today. So many people out there don't think that they will receive God's grace because they don't deserve it. They usually will think they have to do more good works to muster up favor with God, or do more penance, or perform three more sacraments, or cut one more thing out of their life, or fast longer, and so on. They think they have to earn God's grace. But that's what grace is all about. You can't earn it! It is a gift - that you don't deserve! That's the whole point. If you deserved it, you wouldn't need grace. It wouldn't even be grace; it would just be your wages - what you earned.

So I encourage you, if you are feeling like you can't get grace because you don't deserve it: lay down your pride and turn to Jesus with all of your garbage. He will forgive. That's real grace.

2. They don't know they can turn to Jesus. Most people don't know that grace can be found with Jesus because they don't even know Jesus, and think he is just a religious symbol on a cross necklace or bumper sticker. This is a tragedy. People don't know that they can find grace with Jesus because they don't even know about Jesus.

So I encourage you, if you are a Christian reading this, pray for those who don't know about the grace of Jesus. Pray that millions today would find the healing and restoring grace of Jesus.

3. They don't want to be humble enough to ask for grace. This is something that I see around me everyday. People are too proud to ask for grace. They think they can figure it out on their own. They think that they can navigate the spider's web of their mess on their own. But when they mess it up even more, they don't want to admit they were wrong in the first place. But we have made it so much easier these days to medicate our messes with apps, social groups, drugs, pursuits, and other false gods of this century (read my post on medicating our pain here), that the grace that Jesus offers gets lost amidst our plethora of "saviors." So that when our sins confront us again and again and again, we are not told to give it up and run to Jesus for forgiveness and hope and grace and redemption. Instead, we are told, "There's an app for that!"

So I encourage you, if you are lost in the middle of your false saviors who promise healing, but give more needs, turn to Jesus. Lay down your pride and admit that you can't do this on your own. You need Jesus. Today.

"Here He comes!"
"He must be The One who is to come."
"He will rescue us from the Romans!"

Hours later...

"Who does he think he is?"
"I could have sold those for lots of money!!"
"Who gave him the right to ruin everything like this??"

This was the attitude of the people the day Jesus entered the city of Jerusalem riding on a donkey - just a week before his crucifixion. As he entered, his welcome party was boisterous and excited. They laid their coats and big palm leaves to give him the best red carpet welcome that they could afford. They shouted his praises. In that moment, he was their hero.

Everyone knew he was coming to conquer their enemy. Yet they were confused about which enemy he came to defeat. They thought he had come to oust the Roman soldiers from their midst. This is why they were so confused and offended when he immediately entered the temple turning over money tables and cracking his whip at business men (literally!) and yelling, "My Father's house is called The House of Prayer, but you have made it a den of thieves!" He was furious that sin had so overrun their lives that even The House of Prayer was merely another business venue to them.

Yes, he had come to vanquish the foe. But this foe was much more oppressive than the Romans. He had come to conquer sin.

So often in our lives, we get excited about the King of Glory entering our lives, but are so offended when he begins to shine the light of truth on our own sin. We want the privileges of being known as God's child, but it too much for him to ask us to clean up and give him 100% of our hearts.

We are a culture so used to popularity charts. We have the Grammys, the Emmys, the Oscars, the Golden Globe, the Golden Boot, the Golden Compass. Everywhere we go, we want to know who is the #1, the chart topper, the first. And we do that in our own lives too. If we are really spiritual, we might give Jesus first place in our lives. He can be #1. But you only have to have 51% popularity to be #1. Jesus wants 100%. He wants to be your everything. He wants you to hold NOTHING back.

So I challenge you, when you so gladly accept the Jesus who comes to conquer, expect a Jesus who comes to cleanse...because he wants to conquer your sin.