So Pokemon GO happened...

Wow! I have never seen such an outburst of communal gaming in my life. I am honestly shocked at the amazing popularity of Niantic's new Pokemon GO app. In fact, according to Forbes Tech, as of the timing of this post, "Pokemon GO was installed on 5.6% of all Android devices in the United States... Not only that, but on average users are spending twice the amount of time engaged with Pokemon GO than they are on apps like Snapchat." Talk about viral!

But to be honest, I have always felt like I was on the outside of the Pokemon crowd looking in. My wife recently started playing, and now goes on Pokemon GO walks with her students (deserving the youth leader of the year award). Even when I was younger, I played with my baseball cards while a lot of my school friends played with their Pokemon cards.

But something struck me today as I watched my wife leave for one of her Pokemon GO walks; I think there is a progression in the Pokemon experience that the Church can learn from. It all began on some cards. And people would sit around playing with the cards, simulating in their minds what it would look like if they were in a real Pokemon battle. And then, Pokemon came out with movies and shows about the original card game. But it wasn't until Pokemon GO that people actually got out into the world and got in the game, so to speak. Pokemon GO has inspired a huge following because players are now players in a real-time experience, where every move they make matters.

Like I said, I think the Church, the collection of the people who follow Jesus, can learn from this progression. Too often, we sit in our nice buildings and talk about what it would look like if we could actually experience what others have written about. And we have even progressed to making movies and skits and shows about others who have experienced what the Bible talks about. But for the vast majority of us, we have yet to get off our seats and get in the game.

Yet, this isn't because it's not possible yet. In fact, this kind of life is ready and available for all of us...and the servers never crash. Jesus said in Matthew 28:19, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." Every single one of us can experience the most thrilling version of God's activity possible, one where God works through us. We don't have to simply settle for reading about God moving in and through someone else, we can experience it for ourselves.

However, even though making disciples happens while we are going, it doesn't happen on accident. Making disciples in an intentional process. It doesn't happen unless we plan on making disciples; we have to make a decision ahead of time to make disciples and grow disciples. Otherwise, it never happens...kind of like catching Pokemons in Pokemon GO.

So let's make a decision together today. Let's Pokemon GO... and make disciples!

I'm not a huge movie guy, but I am pretty excited for the upcoming release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (TMNT Trailer #1). Being a 90's kid, the Turtles bring me back to some of my favorite childhood things like TMNT pajamas and the coolest action figures in school. So, I obviously loved the first TMNT movie from Paramount Films, and I'm pretty stoked for the second one.

So, for reminiscence sake, these are some of my favorite TMNT toys ever made:

• The Technodrome
• The Turtlecopter
• And the best of all...The Pizza Thrower!

I have always been fascinated by turtles...especially turtles that eat pizza, ride skateboards, and say "Kawabunga, dude!", and were born out of the 90's. But the very idea of an animal that comes fully
equipped with a personal bomb shelter on its back is so sweet! When a turtle is threatened, or feels in danger, it is able retreat within its shell and find safety and a relative level of camouflage. This is amazing! Seriously, the way God has created turtles is so fascinating! Their ability to protect themselves is fascinating.

But too, often people act like turtles when it comes to their own emotional protection. In fact, I do this fairly often, as well. And this is not good. When turtles do it, it is good. When humans do this, it's not.

What do I mean? How do humans act like turtles?

I'll give you an example, but be nice to me. I'm going to be a little vulnerable with you here.

The other day, I was talking to a friend and he asked about how he could pray for me. And if I was being completely transparent, I would have told him about the multitude of burdens that were on my heart at that very moment. But if I had done that, I would have opened up the possibility of a few things:

• By sharing the actual burdens on my heart with him, he would have seen the mess I was in and would have plenty of chance to judge me and crushed my confidence.
• By sharing real prayer requests with him, I would have been reaching for the hope that my heart would be healed in a context that both of us shared...a hope that was easier crushed than realized.
• And by inviting him into the truth of my situation, I would have had to find a way to insert him into my life in the contexts of my burdens.

And if I am being honest, all of those things scared me. They scared me because it meant I would be opening up my heart to hope in a person I barely know to be there for me. And by doing this, I would take a huge step toward my hope being dashed and my joy being diminished.

So instead, I just told him some kind off vague prayer request like, "Pray for strength."

I acted just like a turtle. Because of my fear, I retreated within myself and avoided the freeing truth and sanctifying vulnerability. I hid behind the shell of vague "Christianese". And many of do this so much more than we realize. We all have pains and burdens. But we hide within ourselves, never finding freedom, because we are too scared.

And as the Lord has been speaking to me about this recently, he has been revealing to me the path to finding real freedom from these burdens and the pains in my heart. And I want to share them with you.

Here are 2 secrets to find lasting freedom from your pain and your burdens.

1) Come out of your shell. Be ok with the mess in your own heart. You're not alone in your mess! It's only when you are honest and at peace with your own mess than you can let someone else in and give you the real love that you need.

Allow me to let you in on the best-kept-secret of finding freedom: we can't find freedom by ourselves; we need another to help us as we search for freedom. In our pursuit of true freedom, real love from another person is a necessary ingredient. In order to enter the promised land called freedom, we must pass through the tunnel of real love. But this is where we tend to retreat into our shells. We are scared of receiving real love.

Why are we scared of receiving real love? Doesn't everyone want real love?

Receiving real, liberating love, requires that we come out of our shells, honestly admit our pain, and open up about our fears to another imperfect human being. It is only when we are vulnerable with another about our current reality that we can receive true love and find lasting freedom.

So why are we so scared to receive love and pursue freedom? Because we know the depths of our own hearts, and we are so scared to let someone else into it. We fear that they will see it and run the other way.

So we never find real freedom. Fear opposes love. And thus, it opposes freedom. We want freedom from our pains and burdens, but our fears tend to get in the way. This is why 1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear..."

Love requires you to open up. Like a turtle coming out of a shell.

And love will bring you to a place called freedom...outside of the shell.

2) Jump into someone else's shell. Be courageous enough to love someone sacrificially...despite the mess in their heart, and despite the amount of times they retreat inside their shell away from you. Real love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18).

Anything else called "love" that is too scared to enter the dark realities of the human heart for another is not love at all. Love bears all things with and for another (1 Corinthians 13:7). Mushy feelings never do that. That's because love isn't a feeling. Love is a self-sacrificing, daily-deciding commitment to the holistic well-being of another without regard for personal safety.

You can only offer this kind of love to someone else by committing to sacrifice and unselfishness. And by giving this real love to someone else, you will bring them to a place called freedom...outside of their shell.

(P.S. Love is a two way street. When you are courageous enough to love someone else, you will begin to find love and healing for your own heart.)

So here's to you! Here's to starting the journey to finding lasting freedom from your pains and burdens! "Kawabunga, dude!"

(Just for fun, here is another trailer...becasue I couldn't resist...)

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There is a lot being said as of late about the transgender issue.

What if a guy wants to identify as a woman? What if a woman wants to identify as a man? What if a woman wants to identify as a cat? What if a female-identifying man wants to use a female restroom at a certain supermarket? What if a person wants to identify as a 7 year old version of himself?

And frankly, this is a conversation that makes me very anxious. I have loads of anxiety in me because I don't know how to respond. I am a pastor and there are lots of people who, if not yet, will soon look to me to provide a godly answer about how to respond to a transgender person as Jesus would. This scares me because there are so many bad ways to respond, but not a lot of good ways. On the one hand, I would never want to disagree with God's commands in what I say or do; on the other hand,  I would never want to tell someone who does not yet know Jesus that he doesn't love them or that he didn't die for their sins too.

In this conversation, there are lots of Christians who error on either side of this discussion. There are some Christians who will say that if a person chooses to deny the way that God created them and become transgender that they are no longer worthy of love or kindness. But there are other Christians who will not say anything at all and choose to defend man's desires over God's genius in creation. And this is not godly either.

So how do I respond when my response could very easily misrepresent Jesus?

I don't know. But I do know a few things:

First, those who identify as transgender are doing so because they they need love. They believe that they will receive more love (if even from themselves) by doing so. They are human beings who are created in the image of God. They are human beings who are created with a need to be loved, but have been hurt at some point in their life.

Second, Jesus died for them. They are human, and as such, are sinners. And because of that they are human beings for whom Jesus died. And God doesn't wait for someone to clean up their life before loving them. For example,

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:8

"And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, 'This man (Jesus) receives sinners, and eats with them...'"

Luke 15:2

Jesus identified with sinners because he was more concerned with seeking them and saving them (cf. Luke 19:10) than condemning them (cf. John 3:17). He identified with me, a sinner, because he wanted to start a relationship with me that lasts forever. And I am eternally grateful.

I don't really know how to respond to the transgender frenzy and the anger that is being stirred up on either side. I wouldn't know what to say to the little girl who identifies as a boy. I wouldn't know what to say to Bruce who identifies as Caitlin. And I definitely wouldn't know what to say to the woman who identifies as a cat.

But I do know this: I identify as a sinner...just like everyone else that has ever lived.

And Jesus receives sinners.

Just this morning, I was praying for my wife - like I do every morning. And as I was, something hit me hard. God gave me a realization that what I was doing was absolutely amazing. I was talking to God! And when I realized this, I was fascinated! God gave us the ability to talk to him, and we should never take it for granted. Here are 3 things that make prayer so awesome:

1. Prayer is an awesome thing.

Think about it. When you pray, you talk to the Ruler of the Entire Universe. You aren't just uttering a quaint pre-dinner phrase. You are entering the throne room of heaven to lay your humble request at the feet of the Lord of All. And the thing that is really amazing is that, in Hebrews 4:16, He calls us to do this with confidence!

2. Prayer is amazing thing.

Not only is prayer a high privilege, but it is uniquely special because it opens the door for us to have a living, breathing relationship with the One who breathes stars. Psalm 33:6 says,

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
And their starry hosts by the breath of His mouth.

The moment you cease to be amazed by the fact that you are known and loved by this God is the moment you have lost sight of Him altogether. You can't relate to God without having your mind blown consistently. He is infinite in His glory, splendor, and desire for you!

3. Prayer is an affecting thing.

Prayer has a great effect. Prayer affect God, ourselves, others, and our world. How cool is that??? God has specifically given us, as fellow heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:17), the ability to reach into the storehouses of heaven and affect God and his activity here on earth. THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!

Andrew Murray said in his book With Christ in The School of Prayer,

"Lord, teach us to pray." Yes, to pray. This is what we need to be taught. Though in its beginnings prayer is so simple that the feeblest child canary, yet it is at the same time the highest and holiest work to which man can rise. It is fellowship with the Unseen and Most Holy One. The powers of the eternal world have been placed at its disposal.

So I want to challenge you today to reach into the heart and hands of your heavenly Father and experience the wonder and power of prayer. This is the unique privilege and plan God has given to you in this very moment. Don't let today end without laying hold of this amazing blessing.

This post is sort of unusual compared to then content I usually post. Typically I am posting reflections on my personal journey with the Lord and things that can others can relate to. This post, while still reflecting on my personal journey, however, reflects more on the cognitive side of this. rather than the affective. It is meant to display God's grace in not only my growth in his Kingdom, but also on my professional development.

I have been doing youth ministry for over 5 years now, but this last month marked my the end of my first year of full-time youth ministry. So these are the 5 Things I Learned in My First Year of Full-Time Youth Ministry:

1. You have to use words, but your life is what students listen to the most. I think one of the most depressing things that I had to get over was that my words were not very memorable. One of the coolest things ever is when a student grabs ahold of your message, and journals it, or tweets it, or videos it, or talks about it. But the reality is that this doesn't happen very often. Standing alone, my words don't really do much.  In fact, almost every student I have ever spoken to do not remember 95% of what I have ever said in talks. Talk about de-motivation! But here is the thing, even though not memorable, many of my talks made a big difference in lives thanks to two factors: 1) the power of God working behind my capabilities, and 2) the time that I spent with all of my students showing

them what it looked like to follow Jesus. Though the message in my talks may not have been retained very long, the message of my life was much harder to forget.

2. Parents are not the enemy. Maybe this is an age thing or just very common in youth ministry, but there always seems like there is a cold war going on between parents and the youth ministry. Though no shots are fires, it feels like there is a stand-off for the rights to time and attention of their students. And though we both want the same thing - that the student would grow up to love and serve Jesus with his/her life - there remains this awkward tension sometimes when we meet in hallways on in an email because we don't exactly know what the other is thinking about us. (Maybe I'm way off, but that's the way it appears from my end sometimes.) But one of the coolest things that I have learned in youth ministry is that when that communication gap was bridged, and I could develop relationships my your students' parents, I realized a shocking truth - that parents were actually cheering for me and that they were actually really cool people. They just wanted to make sure that their student was getting the best ministry possible. And when I actually took the time to listen to them, what I heard were stories of fear, joy, pain, success, and longing. Parents want the best for their students and so do I. A little professionalism, a lot of communication, and a little time went a long way to gain their trust and something even greater - a group of some of the greatest cheer leaders on the planet!

3. You cannot possibly over communicate. I don't know how many times it took for me to learn this one. In fact, there are still times where I have to re-learn this lesson. Communication that is well in advance, thorough, and accurate is the goal. Obviously, there are last minute changes that come up, but I have learned that the more people that I tell and the more information I give, the more successfully everyone will be informed. And once of the only complaints I receive with somewhat regularity is that so-and-so didn't know about my well-planned event and really wished they had so they could be there.

4. Lead your youth leaders well and you will in turn lead your students well. I figured this one out very early on. I can only connect with so many students in a spiritually significant way. But when I make an intentional effort to disciple my leaders and lay out clear expectations, I am multiplying our ministry into something greater than I was ever capable of on my own. So now I love to take leaders out for coffee, or invite them to our house, or text them during the week to see how I can pray
for them. And as I am pouring into them, I explain that this is what I expect them do be doing with their small group. Ministry modeled. Ministry multiplied.

5. You're not alone! Man, I tell you what... One of the biggest lies that youth pastors believe is that you have to be the superman of your ministry. You have to know exactly what God's vision is for your ministry, know everybody in the ministry, be super engaging, create an Hillsong Young & Free environment, lead thousands of kids to Jesus, and do all of this under budget. And on top of that, there is the pressure to communicate all of this to your volunteers and train them on how to achieve this. And after some time of believing the lies about how inadequate I was to achieve all of this on my own (despite how noble these aspirations were), I began to become extremely overwhelmed. But one of the most freeing things ever was when I realized that my youth leaders were with me in this. They actually wanted to make a difference too, and they were really good at youth ministry already. All I had to do was give direction and lead on. I didn't have to do everything. I have hands on leaders, other youth pastors, parents, articles and blogs, and my own fellow staff members all to lean on. They are so incredible. I just have to trust that in all of our joint efforts, Jesus is receiving just as much glory as those flashy ministries I follow on Instagram.

(6. BONUS! Google apps are WAY better for working, creating, and collaborating than Microsoft apps! This one speaks for itself.)

So many people have so many perspectives...

I don't think I have experienced so many emotions as a result of internet browsing in quite a long time. The recent Supreme Court decision to legally recognize gay marriage in all 50 states has produced the largest mixture of reactions that you could imagine. And unfortunately, a lot of it has gotten ugly, especially on the internet.

You have people saying what they feel, what they think, what they think they should think, and stuff that they don't even really know much about. It's like people have no filter when it comes to what they say online, in posts, in comments, and in direct messages even! And in the midst of all the proverbial dust that is getting kicked up, somehow we have begun to see so many different types of people saying all sorts of different things to other people "in Jesus name." And as I look through all these comments, it is obvious that Jesus couldn't have said all of those things, and most likely wouldn't say most of it. At least not the Jesus I read about in the Bible. And as a result of these kind of people, Jesus is made to sound a lot like a judgmental, cold-hearted, hateful person who pushes others away when he doesn't like them. And who is going to listen to or follow someone like that?

So I was super happy when my wife began to write down her thoughts on this complex issue. And with her permission, I would love for you to soak up her God-inspired wisdom.

                                                            

Since when has our culture come to a point where you have to be perfect to be accepted in a church? If this is the case then, somewhere along the line, we have interpreted the Bible incorrectly. We have not gotten past the Old Testament to see the good news in the New Testament. Mark 2:15-17 recounts the dialogue Jesus had with the Jewish religious leaders. All they said was “How could he stand it, to eat with such scum?” (The Living Bible). Jesus replied by saying, “Sick people need the doctor, not the healthy ones.” But yet the Christian culture has been acting a whole lot like the religious leaders who condemned “such scum.”

I was raised in a Baptist church and background. I don’t have anything against Baptists except the fact that I feel like they taught me to condemn the sinner and not the sin. I still cringe when I hear that somebody is gay or has gotten a divorce. But what I have been learning is that Jesus would never do that. He would love them first. Brant always says that all we ever do is to get people to change their behavior before they ever know Jesus, and they die without Jesus, all we have done is sent them to Hell better behaved than before. We must focus on showing them the love of Jesus before we ever try to change their behavior.

I have also learned that a denomination should not define you. We are followers of Christ. No matter what church you come from, we should all work towards the same goal and that’s to bring lost souls to Christ with love. I can see that our culture is changing a lot but I also see the church changing. Christians are starting to realize that we need to end our bad reputation of hurting people and instead love people for who they are.

Now to understand love you need to know God. Did you realize that if there were no God, there would be no understanding of love? “God is love” is what we hear but for some reason I didn’t ever take it seriously. Real love is not the conditional kind – “If you do this for me then I will love you.” Real love is the sacrificial kind where no matter if they take it or ignore it, you still love them. Maybe all of the divorces and all the hurt in our world are because people don’t know what love really means.

I want to encourage you to take one step as a Christian and love somebody without knowing his or her background. That should mean that we treat everybody the same no matter what. And maybe…just maybe that will change how people view Christians, and in turn bring people to Christ.

I love visiting people in their homes. There is something so natural about human beings when they are home and in their natural setting. Their barriers are down, their boundaries are not as much of an issue, and their self-perceptions are not as heightened because they don't really have to impress anyone.

When we are home, we are not quite as concerned with being that cool. Almost cool is cool enough. I love that! There is something so pure and free about being home and almost cool.
In John 15:9, Jesus said,

"Just as the Father has love Me, I have loved you; abide in my love." 

In other words, You should feel at home in my love. And like when you are at home and your barriers go down, the more you live in the Gospel, the more you will find safety and security. The more you make yourself at home in God's love, the less important it becomes to be cool and important.

Realizing this has taken so much pressure off of me. I don't have to try so hard to fit in. I don't have to work so hard at polishing my image. I don't have to kill myself to prove that I matter. Because at the end of the day, I am always home in the love of God and that is what really matters.

The truth is that I have never really been cool. I have always just been "almost cool." And for some reason that always bothered me. I guess it had to do with the fact that I have always looked to the opinions of others to guide me into acceptance. But all that pressure is gone now. When I am finding my approval and acceptance in God, the opinions of others don't even compare! My adequacy is from Him alone (2 Cor. 3:5)!

As a result, I have committed to two things:

1. I will find my home and my security in the love of God.
2. I will be content to be almost cool.

Almost cool is now cool enough for me, and I pray that it is cool enough for you too.

Recently, I was asked to share some of my thoughts on the book-based movie that was released on Valentine's Day, Fifty Shades of Grey. I was hesitant at first because I didn't have any thoughts... I didn't know much about it, not having read the book or watched the movie. This led me into some uncomfortable research about the characters, the message, and the implications of this twisted story. What I came to in the end was the horrifying realization that, more than ever before, our culture loves

to define its own morality based on its desires, and then celebrate that form of pseudo-morality as its greatest form of consciousness. Consequently, those who dare stand up to this twisted morality are automatically labeled as haters because they happen to believe that morality comes from Someone besides the self or this messed up society.

Therefore, I believe it more imperative than ever for Christians to have a proper framework for thinking through sexual and moral issues and to come to rock-solid convictions that won't be tossed about by mere desire. It is with this kind of daring candor that I offer up some of my thoughts on the cultural phenomenon that is Fifty Shades of Grey.

If someone dares to orient their sexuality around God's design, they must understand a few things...

Truth #1: Your Most Powerful Sexual Organ is Your Brain*

“So really it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more sexual energy, more intelligence, because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not only the opposite sex body, but everything that is hidden.” — Osho

It’s my hope that I can accurately think about not only Fifty Shades of Grey (FSOG) but also about BDSM, because if there’s one thing that the phenomenon known as FSOG has proven, it’s that sexual fantasy never has and never will be just a man’s world.

I actually just skimmed a piece last night featuring actress and documentary director Rashida Jones, who has a film that talks about the amateur porn industry coming out soon entitled Hot Girls Wanted. Basically it addresses how more and more 18-19 year-olds are getting into the field and how it affects them. According to Rashida “It’s performative, women aren’t feeling joy from it…This would be a whole different conversation if women were like ‘we were having sex, we love it so much. We want more of it. We feel so good about our bodies and ourselves…’ It’s fulfilling a male fantasy.”

Based on the millions of women who ate up FSOG like it was a hot fudge sundae, I’m not so sure I can 100% agree with Rashida. Even if I wanted to.

Does that mean that I think porn is a beautiful, special and holistically fulfilling experience for everyone involved?

Absolutely not.
It’s not even close.

But every day, there are women who watch porn. And a large majority of them got their start by reading erotica. And many of them don’t want to stop.

So there goes another theory. Apparently sex is not about “men being visual” and “women being emotional” when it comes to their needs and how to meet them. It would appear that the book (well, the trilogy) was not enough for the ladies. There had to be some kind of visual to feed into the fantasy. It would seem that the book could only “scratch the itch” but so far. (Which is why I see erotica more as a “gateway drug to porn” more than anything else.)

And yet, as I was reading one of the interviews from the actors about the film, I found something that Jamie Dornan, the guy who is portraying Christian Grey, said to be fascinating. When talking about shooting scenes in the sex dungeon with his co-star Dakota Johnson (who portrays Anastasia Steele), he said this:

“Some of the Red Room stuff was uncomfortable,” Dornan admitted. “There were times when Dakota was not wearing much, and I had to do stuff to her that I’d never choose to do to a woman.”

Things in the room made him uncomfortable. Some of the things that he had to do, “the real him” would never do to a woman. Hmph. Doctors, scientists, and therapists alike will agree on two facts:

1. Sex can be a complex topic.
2. The most powerful sexual organ is not our genitalia, but our minds.

Therefore, I have to ask. What is going on with so many of us that our minds are stimulated by what the BDSM world brings? Whether we choose to actually participate or simply watch Christian and Anastasia do it, why do so many of us find that it drives our senses rather than disgusts us?

Married people trying something new is one thing. But whether married or single, when we are stimulated by the thought or sight of people totally overpowering another (sometimes to the point of complete humiliation) or physically harming each other, then what does that say about us? About our views of sex? Deeper yet, about our views of the purpose of sex?

The Osho quote at the beginning of this post says that more sex can make a person more intelligent. Some may agree and some may not. I’ll say this: even Scripture says that husbands and wives need to engage one another regularly (I Corinthians 7:5) and being that God came up with sex. I get that it, within his boundaries, should only make a person better.

And I guess that’s my bottom line point...

Since the mind is the greatest sex organ and sex, in its original design, was created to make us better people, even mentally.

How is 50 Shades doing that exactly?

Truth #2: Sex is a Spiritual Experience

“Sex is the closest that many people will ever come to a spiritual experience. Indeed, it is because it is a spiritual experience of sorts that so many chase after it with a repetitive, desperate kind of abandon. Often, whether they know it or not, they are searching for God.”—M. Scott Peck

A Scripture that I love is 1 Corinthians 6:16-20, in the Message paraphrase:

“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’ There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for ‘becoming one’ with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

Sex is not just about two (or more) bodies getting a sexual release from/with one another. (See above discussion.) Sex brings about spiritual mysteries as well as physical facts. And when sex avoids commitment and intimacy, it tends to leave us lonely. It keeps us from fully knowing what “becoming one” is really all about.

That’s not what the world says. Of course not. That is what the Bible says, though.

Maybe I missed it in the middle of skimming articles about FSOG, but I don’t recall a Bible being inside of Christian Grey’s Red Room (or outside of it, for that matter). However, there’s no way I can address this topic without talking about the spiritual side of it. Or the lack thereof.

I find it quite poetic that the leading male character’s name is “Christian Grey” and that one of the quotes used in the trailer is “Love is not black and white.”

Um, yes it is. Biblically speaking, anyway.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, the great love chapter of the Bible, tells us exact what and how love is. Kind is the second adjective. Some definitions of kind are gentle, considerate and tender. How many people are able to say that their relationship is filled to the brim with kindness—both in and out of the bedroom.

1 John 1:5 tells us exactly how God is as well: “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.”

He’s crystal clear. There’s no darkness, no “shadiness.”

And yet, aren’t a lot of us like Christian Grey? One way or another? Christians, yet “grey” on so many issues that we shouldn’t be?

There are going to be a lot (and I mean, a lot) of people who will be flocking to see FSOG. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what they’ll be looking for on the screen. You can just peep the trailer and know that Mr. Grey has some, let’s just say “deep issues.” And as I talked about above, I find it pretty tragic that Anastasia gives him her virginity. More than anything because of what the Bible says about the purpose of sex (celebrating the love between a husband and wife) and how we are to see our bodies (sacred).

I get that many individuals will simply say, “Brant, what’s the big deal? It’s just a movie.” But I don’t know... Is it? Consider the fact that we are not only physical beings, but spiritual ones too, and look at the word “spirit” from the angle of being our “life,” our “essence,” and our “nature.”

For the married people who may get down like that, am I saying it’s wrong?

Umm... Life has taught me that you can get to the bottom line of a lot of things in life if you’re honest about your motives (Proverbs 17:20, Proverbs 21:2, Proverbs 21:8 - The Message). Only you know what those are.

But what I am saying is that John 4:24 tells us that “God is Spirit” and so there’s no way that he was going to invent something like sex and want it to be void of spirituality. Therefore whatever we decide to do with our mates – our lives and their lives, our essence and their essence, our nature and their nature – should ever remain on the forefront of our minds.

Based on what I’ve read and researched about FSOG, spirituality in the story is an afterthought at best.

In the meantime, you know, I really like M. Scott Peck’s quote on sex above. That in his mind, sex is the epitome of a spiritual experience while at the same time, a lot of people do not realize that chasing after sex is really about longing to be in a closer relationship with the Creator of it.

Based on the numbers that FSOG is projected to have its opening weekend, perhaps that’s the silver lining to all of this. It shows those of us who have found satisfaction in the love and tenderness of the Savior are actually on to something. It shows that millions and millions of people need to be reminded of the fact that they don’t have to chase after erotica or porn or sexual fetishes to make themselves feel complete.

They just need to put the Spirit and their spirit first; everything else will work itself out. For their good. The good of their mind, body and spirit.

Yes, in and out of the bedroom.

That kind of truth really is black and white.

No grey.

*A lot of my thoughts have been influenced by www.xxxchurch.com. Go check them out! They are awesome people who love Jesus and who love all kinds of sinners.

One of the of the biggest things that God is teaching me this week is the distinction between believing in him and following him. As I was reading in John this morning, this verse hit me and would not leave my mind all morning. John 8:31-32 says, 

"So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed him, 'If you continue in my word, then you are truly disciples of mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." 

There are many times in my life that I am tempted to take it easy in my faith, to slack off in my spiritual disciplines, or to be less alert in spiritual warfare, but Jesus says that his disciples will continue in his word. Those who continue to follow Jesus are those who are his disciples, and that is the goal of my life - to follow Jesus every day without taking a break. To that end, I have intentionally decided to do some things every day to keep me following Jesus.

1. Looking for just one thing each day from the Word. I think we often get overwhelmed with everything there is to learn in the Bible and everything we have to do to be a "good Christian" that we just forget everything. But one of the most powerful pieces of advice I have ever been given was when I went off to camp one summer. This sweet lady in our church wrote me a card that week and told me to just try to pick out one thing that God was teaching me that week. So I did and my life was totally changed that week. So now I try to do that whenever I read the Bible. Just pick out one thing that God is showing me that day.
2. Looking forward to small blessings. My dad always used to say to my family, "Anticipation is in and of itself a sensory delight." In other words, it feels good to look forward to something. And the more you look forward to something, the more you enjoy it. And the more you enjoy something, the more grateful you are for it. Bottom line: When I anticipate the little things that God is going to do for me every day, I will notice them, enjoy them, and be grateful for them. And believe it or not, I feel like God is blessing me more just because I choose to look forward to and notice his blessings more often.
3. Chatting with other who are following Jesus. Almost nothing encourages me to follow Jesus more than hanging out with someone else who is following Jesus. Some of my best friends in this entire world are those who love Jesus with all of their hearts and are serving him passionately wherever their lives take them. Just a simple chat or just a little time spent with Christine, Benjamin, Mark, David, or Ryan makes me want to love Jesus even more. It's amazing the power of choosing good friends.
4. Talking to God in the middle of normal things. Obviously it is good to plan specific times to pray every day, like in the morning, at meals, and before bed. You have probably heard all that before. So I am not going to dive into that. But I think that we often forget to relate to God as the real person that he is. He has feelings too. He cares about the things in your life. He likes to do stuff with you. And he wants to talk to you like a friend (cf. John 15:15). So when I talk to God in the middle of every day, normal things, I am living out the reality that he loves me, cares about me, and wants to be with me. And that just makes me want to love him and follow him more.

So what about you? What are the little things you do each day to follow Jesus?

Is there an area of your life that you know you need to start following Jesus in?

Don't wait until tomorrow to experience the blessing of a life well-lived. Follow Jesus every day starting today.

PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE ARTICLE BEFORE MAKING ANY JUDGMENTS.

Yesterday, my beloved Chicago Fire took on the Red Bulls of New York in Major League Soccer. To my delight, they won their fourth game of the season (in contrast to their 13 ties...). If you want, you can catch the highlights here. However, to my disappointment, that night at Toyota Park was the 3rd Annual LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender) Pride Night. And the motto that Pride Night was pushing was "Love Is Louder," or more specifically, "Love Is Louder Than Homophobia"... (Translation: "It is unloving to openly disagree with a lifestyle that is proud to be homosexual." Obviously, I have some issues with this slogan.)

It was one of those games that I am glad that I watched on TV instead of going to the stadium. It would be hard to believe the Bible, claim to follow the God of the Bible, and give my cheers to open and public sin. What I see in the Bible is that God's design for marriage is: one man and one woman for life. According to Romans 1:24-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9, there is no question about whether or not God approves of homosexuality. He doesn't. And neither do I.

But (and this is a VERY BIG BUT), while homosexuality is clearly a sin, so is porn, divorce, and polygamy. In fact, these are all the same kind of sin: they are all distortions of God's beautiful design for marriage. Porn is just as much a distortion of God's beautiful design for marriage as living a lesbian lifestyle is; while a lesbian distorts it in a homosexual way, a porn-addict distorts it in a heterosexual way. With this in mind, I would avoid an LGBT Pride Night at Toyota Park just as much as I would a Porn Pride or Divorce Pride or Polygamy Pride night. This is not because I hate people who have committed such sins, and not because I think I am better (because I am the first to say that I am not), but because I cannot support open celebrations of clearly defined sin.

Let's stop for a moment.

This is what I NOT saying: I hate gay people, OR God hates gay people, OR it is wrong to openly accept gay people, OR I will never show love to a gay person, OR divorce is always avoidable. I am not saying that at all.

This is what I AM saying: an open celebration of any kind of sin is wrong, AND I will not openly support homosexuality, or porn, or divorce, or polygamy, AND though it is sometimes unavoidable, divorce is still a distortion of God's design for marriage.

Are you catching the distinction? Good.

The reason that I had such issues with Pride Night at Toyota Park was that I do not believe that it was the correct or helpful way to love people who are hurting (Yes, hurting. Remember that every choice is a result of previous circumstances.), or who are proud of their sins. They do not need encouragement to keep doing what they are doing, they need encouragement to run to Jesus. But unfortunately, Jesus is the last place they think to run because so often they are not loved by the church. In the church, we are so good at knowing who is wrong and who is right, but so bad at loving people regardless.

No, we shouldn't openly support the LGBT agenda, but yes, we should individually love each person who claims to be gay. Why? Because everybody struggles with sin. As Dr. Christopher Yuan, a former homosexual, so elegantly put it, "The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality; the opposite of homosexuality is purity." And purity is something that even heterosexual people struggle with.

I long for the day when a gay person feels just as welcome to come into the walls of a church a divorced person does. I long for the day when the church will show individualized and intentional love to a gay person just as much as they will to a porn-addict.

I end with this challenge from John 8:1-11. When a woman caught in sin of a sexual nature was brought before Jesus, he responded to all the fierce accusations and pleas for her stoning with one line that will ring through the ages: "He who is without sin among you, cast the first stone." Then he said to her, when no one stood up to condemn her anymore, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." It is this same challenge that I challenge you to ponder. Whoever is reading this who has never lusted after a woman or man, has never been divorced, has never been given over to gluttony, or has never been consumed with their own image can be the first to judge a gay person. But if no one stands up, we must accept the truth that our love for people who claim to be gay will always be louder than our theology, robust as it may be.

Love will always be louder than our theology because you cannot argue with the fact that Jesus died for you while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:8) and that Jesus will be happier with more people in heaven than how many people were correct about some points of theological minutia.

When I was younger, my family had a little book on the coffee table by Sam Parker called 212: The Extra Degree. The basic premise of the book went like this,

At 211° water is hot. At 212°, it boils. And with boiling water, comes steam. And with steam, you can power a train. The one extra degree makes the difference.

 The main purpose behind the book was to encourage you to make the extra effort - to increase your production or hustle by an extra degree - so you can accomplish more amazing things in your life than you ever thought possible.

I was just thinking about that little book today when the Lord brought a passage of Scripture to mind. In Matthew 5:38-42, Jesus speaks about the retaliation passage from Exodus 21:23-25. He says that it is really about a deeper point, which is that God was setting up a system among his people that people were treated fairly and were protected against exploitation. But, if people would just show love to everyone around them, even if they are trying exploit them, the culture would be totally different! Translation: Love everyone, no matter who they are. Talk about mind-blowing! Fleshing it out, he says,

But I say to you, 'Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him to miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

I truly believe that if every Christian took seriously the command of Jesus to go the extra mile, we would see something happen that would shake the foundations of our culture and leave everyone in awe of the grace of an amazing Savior. Just like it only takes that extra degree of heat to unlock the powerful potential of steam, it might just be that extra mile you go to love the people in your life who are hard to love that will unlock the transforming power of the gospel in your school, work place, or neighborhood.

My challenge to you today is this:

1. Ask God to bring someone (or some group of people) to your mind who is really hard to love (even though they desperately need love).
2. Gratefully remember how unlovable you were to God when he saved you.
3. Ask God to fill you with love for this person (or people).
4. Make a plan to show love to them in a tangible and personal way.

When you do this, you will unleash the glory of God into your culture and, over time, you will transform it.

Dare to go the extra degree!

When my brother and I were kids, we used to wrestle a lot...like many brothers probably do. Because

I was the older brother, I was usually able to beat him because I was stronger. But as we grew older, my win streaks became more sporadic until I could no longer take him. Now he weighs more than me and is twice as strong as me. Every wrestling match is an embarrassment now. I remember one time in college where my floor held it's annual Wrestle Mania during Founder's Week. As I feared, everyone thought it would be a great spectacle to see me and brother duke it out on the mat. Also as I feared, all present saw a 20 second pin resulting in him sitting on top of me. And as much as I tried, I couldn't push him off. He was too heavy. His caboose just sank into my back like a ton of bricks on a feather bed.

I think at some point in all of our lives, grace is a little like that for us. It shows up in our lives and just sinks down upon our selfish, defiant hearts. That was my story this morning as I was at church. We began to sing a song that talked about the grace of God, and my rebel heart began to resist. And as it kept chasing me across the wastelands of my own resistance, it finally hit me like a ton of bricks and sank heavy upon heart until I surrendered to God once again and let him speak grace and joy and peace into my heart. And as the tidal waves of God's love kept crashing over me, I was brought to tears of joy.

See, there's this funny thing about grace. It is extremely heavy for a selfish heart to bear. You cannot accept God's grace when you are constantly trying to justify yourself. Unless you give up trying to prove how awesome you are on your own, grace will just weigh down on you and make you feel guilty and weak. You just become exhausted trying to prove your worth on your own. But the minute you open your heart to accept God's love and grace, you will feel more freedom and peace than you have ever known in your life. The moment you drop the burden of control over your own life and accept the load of grace that Jesus offers, you will find how light and amazing it is. Indeed, Jesus even said,

"Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourself. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (HCSB)

So my encouragement to you this week is to stop trying so hard to find approval from everyone by making all the right moves and saying all the right things. You are more valuable to your heavenly Father than just for what you say or do. He loves you for who you are. So run to Him in prayer and in his Word, and seek his grace. And there is where you will find what your heart has always been looking for - unconditional love and unending grace.

He wants you. Just for you. Seriously.

Today, I watched on as my beloved Everton lost to arch rivals Liverpool 4-0 in the English Premier League (it's a soccer league, for the uninformed). It was truly a disappointing match for me to watch. Nothing seemed to go right when it came to how we played. Every time we thought we were getting close to scoring, Liverpool countered with a lightning fast attack the other way to score on our helpless defense. You can watch the highlights here.

However, I was unable to watch the game in the presence of anyone who enjoys soccer. It was enjoyable to watch the game. But it would have so much more enjoyable to watch it with others. This is the point I am getting at:

Everything good is better when you enjoy it in community with others who enjoy it.

Soccer is fun to follow, but as an American man in the Midwest, I don't have much of a community to enjoy it with, nonetheless to support Everton with me. It is so much more enjoyable to watch it with other people who care about it as much I do.

To be honest with you, I was pouting a little bit today about all of this...not being able to watch the Everton game with anyone who cares about football (the real football). I was feeling down and a wee bit depressed that I have to enjoy my passions - soccer and specialty coffee - with so few people. But then the Lord began to change my thought process.

I asked myself what the most important part of my life was. The answer was obvious - almost so obvious that I had forgotten about it - my faith. I mean seriously, if I had to pick the best part of my life in which to enjoy enjoy community with others, it would be my faith. There are many parts of my life, but if I had to choose between them all which to enjoy in a passionate community, it would most certainly have to be my pursuit of Jesus. I can leave soccer behind, I can leave coffee behind, I can leave everything behind. But if I had to navigate my own faith journey alone, I would go crazy because it is at the heart of everything I do.

I so badly need others around me to encourage me in the pursuit of Christ. Loving Jesus is a complete joy, about which I could write for hours. But when I am surrounded by others who are passionately loving Jesus, my joy is made even more complete. Therefore, I choose to intentionally involve myself in Christian community because I know that my pursuit of Christ is made so much better in the presence of others who are also pursuing him.

So this is my encouragement to you today:

Press into community...even if you're ashamed of who you are. Jesus isn't. He loves you. He love you so intensely and passionately that all of your faults are forgotten in the empty space of forgiveness and grace. And admit it...you need others in your life to help you love him back. You know you can't do this on your own. You are hard-wired for community. That's why you can understand my frustration with having to enjoy something on my own. It is part of who you are to engage in community.

You can choose to surround yourself with people who care a lot about the things in your life that get you going - music, the Seahawks, politics, mountain biking, girls, tacos, or TOMS - and there is nothing inherently wrong with them. But I encourage you to also intentionally surround yourself with the kind of people who make you want to love Jesus even more, and you'll never walk alone.

"And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not easily broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12 (ESV)

"Some people have gotten out of the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord's coming is getting closer." Hebrews 10:25  (CEV)

P.S. I want to give a shout out to my wife, my best friends Mark, David, and Ryan, and of course my awesome little brother Benjamin for being those people in my life who have inspired me to love Jesus even more passionately. I couldn't do it without you!

I wrote this as a outburst of my heart after singing the hymn Sovereign by Chris Tomlin this morning in church. I was overwhelmed with the sovereign tenderness of my Heavenly Father, and how much he takes joy in any little attempt I make to love him back.

In a tender moment

In the eye of my mind

I see a father weeping - 

With tears, soft and mild - 

In the fragile embrace

Of his loving child.

"Daddy, are you sad?

Did I do any wrong?"

"No, my child, I'm not.

There is no sadness here.

I cry because of love - 

There is joy in these tears."

The the moment is done.

I wake and then I see

That You were the Father,

And the child was me. 

--- --- ---

I wrote this letter to remind myself what my selfish nature can and will do to me if I cease to submit my whole being to Christ everyday. Though it is incredibly detailed and shocking and harsh, it might actually be truer than you are giving your own sin nature credit for. I encourage you to read this as if it were the monster inside of you that is writing to you:

Dear ______,

I am the monster inside of you;

I am here to prey upon your soul.

If you cease to fight me,

I will take you under and punish you to no end. 

I want to eat you alive...slowly.

I hate you with all that I am.

I want to ruin your whole life,

Inside and out. 

If you even give me the slightest pathway into your life,

This is what I will do:

I will destroy your marriage. 

Your wife will learn to resent you. 

She will put all her hopes and dreams in you only to get them smashed and dashed to the ground. 

She will be disappointed in you. 

She will give you up. 

She will even leave you. 

I can already picture her resting happily in the arms of another man...a man who can control himself. 

She will forget about you as quickly as she can. 

I want to destroy your ministry. 

I will let you speak in front of many just so they can find out later that you're a total fake. 

Every kid you speak to will live up to your lousy example. 

No guy will grow up as a pure man. All the girls will think they have to be "more beautiful" because they aren't enough - even to you. 

I will ruin their lives because of you!

But most of all, I want to keep you groveling in the sewage tanks of shame and despair. Every time you build a shred of confidence, I will dash you back to the ground lest you rise to enjoy intimacy with the Hated King. 

Your spiritual demise is my greatest prize. I will suck every last drop of spiritual life out of your veins. 

You will never get close to Him because one thing will always stand in the way: YOU!

I want desperately to destroy every single part of your very existence. 

I hate you so much!

Sincerely,

The Monster Inside of You

P.S. I'm already dreaming of incredibly gory things for your own children. I can't wait!

   On Sunday, November 25th, the Grandmother Hall of Fame saw the passing of one of its foremost members. Louise Cole entered the unhindered presence of the Lord, and left us all missing her terribly.





   When I think of my grandma, many things come to mind. When she would wrap Christmas gifts, she would always hide the names of the recipients somewhere in the designs of the wrapping paper. My brother and I were the designated ones to find the names and distribute the gifts. Also on Christmas, she would always get me a new nutcracker (to add to my enromous collection). On New Year's day, we would always go to her house to watch college football and eat chili that she had prepared. It was at grandma's house that my brother and watched our first Saturday morning cartoons. It was at grandma's house that we first watched The Prestige and Miracle while eating a huge bowl of popcorn and drinking Diet Coke (a favorite of hers). I remember the time when she was about to tear off the head of the umpire who botched a call and made us lose our Little League District Final game. It took everything in my mom's persuasive power to calm her down. She was always our biggest fan. As my brother notes, there were only ever two people he could hear as he was playing, my dad and my gandma. I remember all the times she would take my brother and I to horse pulls in Northern Michigan. It was her goofy way of celebrating the fact that she could see us again after her winter in Florida.



   It was not subtle to anyone that she loved my brother an I, her only two grandchildren. As my grandpa told me today, "You and Benjamin are really the only reasons that grandma wanted to go on living at all. Otherwise, she was anxious to leave this world. She wanted to be with her precious Savior. She wanted to go 'home.'" That was another thing that was not subtle in her life; she was always anxious to meet Jesus face to face. In the songs she played, in the hymns she sung, in the words she spoke, in the letters she wrote us, she displayed an eagerness to be in perfect fellowship with the Lord. That legacy was passed on to us. When I think of her death, I am not overcome with grief. Yes, I do miss her a lot. But I am eternally happy for her. She is better off than all of us. She is experiencing the culmination of her salvation: glorification. It was an eternal joy when she was justified. There was rejoicing in the heavenly court. It was evident to the world to see her her sanctification unfold. But now, as I write, she can finally rest in the fulfillment and culmination of her salvation, the fact that she is completely freed from the presence of sin. Not only that, because her sin has been removed, and Christ's righteous record applies to her, she is granted complete and perfect access to the presence of God with out fear or shame. And in this, I am very happy for her.

   In the wake of her death, I am not angry at God for taking her from me. And I am not overwhelmed with my own finity, though it does come closer to home now. Instead, however, I yearn to leave a legacy of love and faithfulness only half as well as she did. I want to make every moment count. I want to live my purpose all the way to the end. And when I finish this race, I desire with everything in me to hear the Savior say, "Well done."

   P.S. Give Jesus a hug from me, Weezie.