It's the season to make New Year's resolutions. We hope for great things in 2016 and expect great changes. But between the hopes and the desires, what is the key to actually seeing real change?

Maybe the key to change isn't found in trying something new, but in consistently doing something over and over again.

Exhibit: A - ME hidden behind the suffocating curtain of a never ending to-do list. MYSELF amidst so many faces who expect my all and every last ounce of my attention. I longing for relax, for peaceful, for a lighter load, for stronger, for not so many good things bombarding me.

Exhibit: B - YOU searching for my attention, searching in all of my hiding spots, searching throughout my to-do list, searching through my subconscious and mindless motivations to self-indulge,

and waiting... waiting in the secret place, waiting in the quiet place, waiting in the still place, waiting at the top of my to-do list, waiting for me - simply me.

Exhibit: We - WE dancing amidst a list of expectations, we dancing through the stillness, we painting a relationship among our relationships, we whispering in the busy places with little grins, we alive, we forgiving and giving each other second chances, we on dates, we waiting for each other to answer, we telling each other deep and dark secrets, we enjoying your sense of humor, we inspired by the Divine Smile, we in relationship.

I embrace Exhibit: We.

Most my days

I feel the same -

Laughter, joy,

Fear and shame.

While other days,

I break through;

I handle and

Experience You.

Though it's hard

To often see

Exhibit A,

Exhibit B,

I prefer,

I search out,

I embrace

Exhibit: We.

   I have been reading in 1 Corinthians recently, and a few days ago, I read chapter 8. While I usually do not stop reading after three verses, I did this day. The first three verses of the chapter hit me really hard. I could not go on. I just had to sit there and meditate on it. It turned into a meditation I kept coming back to throughout the day. 1 Corinthians 8:1-3 says this:

Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we have all knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant but love edifies. If anyone supposes that he knows anything, he has not yet known as he ought to know; but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him.

   This hit me hard because I am in a full-time pursuit of knowledge. I am studying at one of the elite ministry training schools in the world. I am on track to get a master's degree in two or three years from now. I am in a fast and furious frenzy to get lots of knowledge in a short amount of time. But this kind of knowledge could be dangerous if given the wrong place in my heart.

"I am smart. I know more than you.
Therefore, I have more power than you.
As a result, I am more important.

   In this passage, Paul contrasts two kinds of knowledge. He says knowledge makes arrogant. Here he is talking about "head knowledge." This is the kind of knowledge you would be talking about if you said, "I know that 2 + 2 = 4." This can be dangerous if allowed to gain the throne of your heart. It says, "I am smart. I know more than you. Therefore, I have more power than you (the old adage 'Knowledge is power,' is quite true). As a result, I am more important." This is when knowledge can get dangerous.

   The second kind of knowledge Paul discusses in this passage is "relational knowledge." It is the knowledge demonstrated in knowing God. This is the kind of knowledge you would be talking about if you said, "I know my dad." This is how we ought to know. When we know really know God, our pride is crushed because of how awesome God is, and love springs forth from our hearts.

   I believe it is totally possible that you can be a Christian, and have knowledge about God, but not really know him. I am not saying that you don't know him vaguely and distantly and don't have at least some diminutive relationship with him. Every Christian at least has that. But just like a friend you knew in first grade that you don't really know anymore and haven't talked to since then, it is possible to not really know God that much after knowing him initially when you were saved. And I think that Paul is trying to warn the Corinthian Christians against falling into the enticing trap of knowing about God but not really knowing God.

   This passage hit me really hard because I have certainly felt that relational distance from God lately because I have not spent much time with him. I overwhelmed my calendar with studying about him so much that I neglected getting to know him better. So this is what I wrote in my journal:

The kind of knowledge that really matters is knowing God. Lord, as I pursue academic excellence today, please let me excel far more in my knowledge of you. If you took school away from me, or worse, if you allowed me to fail at school, and in the process I got to know you much better, I would be supremely satisfied. Would you please draw near to me today? I desire you more than academic prowess, but I seem to still be distant from you, honestly. Please help me to draw near to you, precious Lord, I pray, no, I plead. I need you more than my next breath, more than anything.

   What about you? How well do you know God? Be honest. Are you satisfied with that?You will never get closer to him until you are honest about where you are now. Begin praying for the Lord to change your heart and draw you ever nearer to him. And you find that in his amazing grace, he will give you more than you ever asked for.