5 Lessons from a Jerk

   I can be such a jerk.


   This morning I was confronted with my own selfishness and hurtfulness. A dear friend of mine said I deeply hurt them by the words I said. And sadly, it was true. I never thought I would do it in a million years. And all day, I have been kicking myself, wishing I had it all back. I wish I could go back and do things over. But I can't. Even though, I have been forgiven, I must now deal with the natural consequences. That is something that won't change. All I can do is weather the storm of broken trust and a wounded heart that I created with my own words. I have apologized (and many times more in my head), but now I must face up to the effects.

I wish I could go back and do things over.
But I can't.

   So I write this from a place I never thought I would be in. I write this in the midst of the regret, in which I am learning some hard, but important lessons. When you are dealing with the consequences of  hurting someone else...


1. Don't defend yourself. You were wrong. It only prolongs the hurt. Man up and admit your faults.
2. Seek forgiveness. Practice saying this, "I am sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?" Go ahead. Say it. Out loud. Yes, right now. "I am sorry. I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?" Oh, and mean it. Nothing is worse than a fake apology. You know what you'll get? A fake forgiveness. Truly ask for forgiveness.
3. DON'T EVER DO IT AGAIN. Once you have made it clear in your mind that you will never do it again, and how you will avoid it in the future, make it clear to the person you hurt. The only really way to prove this, however, is over a long time, so...
4. Lace up for a long road of earning trust back. Trust can be broken in a single conversation, but takes much longer to regain. You will have to show yourself faithful day in and day out.
5. Stay positive. It's often not as bad as you make it out to be in your own mind. I am the king of making a mountain out of a molehill in my own mind. Cheer up! Things will get better. God is still in control. He knows the end from the beginning...and he is not freaking out. Soak yourself in the Gospel, and accept the grace of God.

Every day counts.

   These steps will not guarantee that everything will turn out peachy keen. But in doing things like this, you will please God and become a man or woman of honor. They are not easy. But they make life easier in the long run. The regret will be forgotten soon enough. So live each moment intentionally. Every day you are given counts. It matters for your life, the lives of others, and the glory of God. Choose today - even if you are not dealing with your own stupidity currently - to live each day with a sense of intentionality. The words you say matter. And the actions you do count.