This is what has been going through my head like a monotonous drumbeat for the last few weeks.
Welcome to life. Welcome to love. |
Welcome to just-enough-paychecks.
Welcome to pressure.
Welcome to the joys of love.
Welcome to the anxiety of expectation.
Welcome to the desire to be four places at once.
Welcome to five classes each expecting you to put it as your main priority at this point in your life.
Welcome to rest...from 1 am to 6:30 am.
Welcome to coffee addiction.
Welcome to putting things aside to be with the Lord.
Welcome to not having all the answers.
Welcome to having very few answers.
Welcome to the cry for wisdom.
Welcome to the plea for help.
Welcome to a huge world.
Welcome to life.
The thing is, I chose this life. It's not like it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I stepped onto this path. And I continue to run this course. I can jump out at any point, but I won't. I won't because of one thing: love. I am driven by love. It isn't life that drives me, it is love. So instead of "Welcome to life", it's "Welcome to love." Instead of a drumbeat, I hear my heart beat.
Yes. I am in love. First, I am in love with Jesus. Second, I am in love with Christine. And it is my love that drives me to be better. Growing is never easy. But it is always better. Growing stretches me. But it also strengthens me. Because I love Jesus, I choose to follow him in ministry. I am driven to serve him with all of my heart. I train to minister to others so they can love him passionately too (cf. 1 Corinthians 9:26-27). If I didn't, Jesus would have a guy who thought he was cool. But that's all he would have - a guy who thought he was cool. Because I love Christine, I push myself to be someone she can enjoy loving. I discipline myself to manage a crazy schedule of ministry, schooling, pursuing her, my job, being with friends, and resting so that she can have a man who is effective in ministry, smart, understanding of her, able to meet the expenses of life, sociable, and strong. If I didn't, she would still have a boy who liked her a lot, but that's all she would have - a boy who liked her a lot.
Love must take us to the next level. |
Life comes at you like a Mac truck. And it doesn't slow down. Often I hear people say that falling in love is too inconvenient for this time in life. But I have found the opposite to be true. It has strengthened me and driven to be better...as it should.
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So I have some questions to ask: Has God's love for you (Romans 5:8) driven you to love God and your lover more? And has your love pushed you to the next level?
I will leave you with a thought: According to the Bible, love is more about holiness than it is about happiness. If you are growing in the Lord (and as a person), you are probably doing things right.
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