"Where did it all go?"
This is a question my wife and I ask a lot when we review our finances each week. It never seems like we have enough to pay for anything...like food, or transportation, or ministry, or other unimportant stuff. We pay our bills, buy just enough food for a week or so, and fill the cars with gas. So when the car broke down on my wife today while I was at work, I had no way of fixing it or even paying someone else to fix it. I felt so helpless and useless. And on the way home from work, it all came crashing down on me. I felt so terrible that I have subjected her to this really low standard of living. I guess I had been holding onto this notion that I have to give her everything in order to make her happy.
But God has been teaching me something really hard, but really valuable: We don't need everything, just Him. And to show me this, it feels like he is stripping away everything that I hold onto really tight. To show that He is the ultimate Provider and Protector, he is putting me in so many situations where I can't protect or provide it all, so I have to rely on Him to come through. And all of this was running through my mind there in the car, the song "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets came on the radio. It was almost like God was speaking directly to me in that moment saying, "Brant, I am making you broken, so you can rely on Me to heal you. I am making you empty so you can rely on only Me to fill you." And in that moment, I felt at ease because I knew that everything would work out fine, despite how much worry the Enemy was trying to inflict on me.
I realized something today. There is a great blessing in not having it all. It is actually to my benefit to be empty and broken because in those times of great need, I know that I cannot hold it all together by myself. I must rely on God, or, to be more correct, I get to rely on God. It is such an incredible feeling to leap into the strong merciful arms of the One who I know holds everything together (Colossians 1:17). God will always take care of me. For this I can give thanks. He will never let me fall. Because of this, I live with confidence. There is always something to be thankful for when I am relying on God. And as Ann Voskamp said in her book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, "As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible."
I wonder where you derive your joy these days. Are you discovering the beauty of relying on God? If so, let me know about it in the comments below!
This is a question my wife and I ask a lot when we review our finances each week. It never seems like we have enough to pay for anything...like food, or transportation, or ministry, or other unimportant stuff. We pay our bills, buy just enough food for a week or so, and fill the cars with gas. So when the car broke down on my wife today while I was at work, I had no way of fixing it or even paying someone else to fix it. I felt so helpless and useless. And on the way home from work, it all came crashing down on me. I felt so terrible that I have subjected her to this really low standard of living. I guess I had been holding onto this notion that I have to give her everything in order to make her happy.But God has been teaching me something really hard, but really valuable: We don't need everything, just Him. And to show me this, it feels like he is stripping away everything that I hold onto really tight. To show that He is the ultimate Provider and Protector, he is putting me in so many situations where I can't protect or provide it all, so I have to rely on Him to come through. And all of this was running through my mind there in the car, the song "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets came on the radio. It was almost like God was speaking directly to me in that moment saying, "Brant, I am making you broken, so you can rely on Me to heal you. I am making you empty so you can rely on only Me to fill you." And in that moment, I felt at ease because I knew that everything would work out fine, despite how much worry the Enemy was trying to inflict on me.
I realized something today. There is a great blessing in not having it all. It is actually to my benefit to be empty and broken because in those times of great need, I know that I cannot hold it all together by myself. I must rely on God, or, to be more correct, I get to rely on God. It is such an incredible feeling to leap into the strong merciful arms of the One who I know holds everything together (Colossians 1:17). God will always take care of me. For this I can give thanks. He will never let me fall. Because of this, I live with confidence. There is always something to be thankful for when I am relying on God. And as Ann Voskamp said in her book One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, "As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible."
I wonder where you derive your joy these days. Are you discovering the beauty of relying on God? If so, let me know about it in the comments below!
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